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1. BAD GUY
[Verse 1]
It’s like I'm in this dirt, digging up old hurt
Tried everything to get my mind off you, it won’t work
All it takes is one song on the radio you’re
Right back on it reminding me all over again
How you fucking just brushed me off and left me so burnt
Spent a lot of time trying to soul search
Maybe I needed to grow up a little first
Well, looks like I hit a growth spurt
But I'm coming for closure
Don’t suppose an explanation I’m owed for
The way that you turned your back on me
Just when I may have needed you most
Oh, you thought it was over?
You could just close the
Chapter and go about your life, like it was nothing
You ruined mine, but you seem to be doing fine
Well I've never recovered
But tonight I betcha that what you're
'Bout to go through’s tougher than anything I ever have suffered
Can’t think of a better way to define poetic justice
Can I hold grudges, mind saying, "Let it go, fuck this"
Heart's saying: "I will, once I bury this bitch alive
Hide the shovel and then drive off in the sunset"
[Hook: Sarah Jaffe]
I flee the scene like it was my last ride
You see right through, oh you had me pegged the first time
You can see the truth but it's easier to justify
What's bad is good
And I hate to be the bad guy
I just hate to be the bad guy
(Follow me I ruh-uh-un, follow me I ruh-uh-un)
I just hate to be the bad guy
(Follow me I ruh-uh-un, follow me I ruh-uh-un)
[Verse 2]
And to think, I used to think you was the shit, bitch
To think it was you at one time I worshiped, shit
Think you can hurt people and just keep getting away with it
Not this time, you better go and get the sewing kit, bitch
Finish this stitch so you can reap what you sew, knit wit
Thought some time would pass and I'd forget it? Forget it
You left our family in shambles
And you expect me to just get over him, pretend he never existed?
May be gone, but he's not forgotten
And don't think cause he's been out the pictures
So long that I've stopped the plotting and still ain't coming to getcha
You're wrong and that shit was rotten
And the way you played him, same shit you did to
Me, cold, have you any idea the
Shit that I've gone through?
Feelings I harbor, all this pent up resentment I hold on to
Not once you call to ask me how I'm doing
Letters, you don't respond to 'em
Fuck it, I'm coming to see you
And gee who better to talk to than you, the cause of my problems
My life is garbage and I'm 'bout to take it out on you
Poof, then I'm gone, voosh
And...
[Hook]
[Verse 3]
I've been driving around your side of this town
Like nine frickin' hours and forty-five minutes now
Finally I found your new address, park in your drive
Feel like I've been waiting on this moment all of my life
And it's now arrived, and my mouth is full of saliva
My knife is out and I'm ducking on the side of your house
See, it's sad it came to this point
Such a disappointment I had to make this appointment to come and see ya
But I ain't here for your empathy
I don't need your apology, or your friendship or sympathy
It's revenge that I seek
So I sneak vengefully and treat your bedroom window
Like I reach my full potential, I peeked
Continue to peep, still bent low, then keep
Tapping the glass lightly then start to crescendo, sneak
All the way 'round to the back porch, man
Door handles unlocked
Shouldn't be that easy to do this
You don't plan for intruders beforehand
Surprised to see me? Cat got your tongue?
Gag, chloroform rag
Dag, almost hack-up a lung, like you picked an axe up and swung, stick to the core plan
Dragged to the back of a trunk by one of your fans
Irony's spectacular, huh?
Now who's a faggot, you punk
And here's your Bronco hat; you can have that shit back cause they suck
It's just me, you and the music now, Slim, I hope you hear it
We're in a car right now, wait, here comes my favorite lyric
"I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die"
And hey, here's a sequel to my Mathers LP just to try to get people to buy
How's this for publicity stunt, this should be fun
Last album now, cause after this you'll be officially done
Eminem killed by M and M, Matthew Mitchell
Bitch, I even have your initials
I initially was gonna bury you next to my brother but fuck it
Since you're in love with your city so much
I figured, what the fuck the best place you could be buried alive is right here
Two more exits, time is quite near
Hope we don't get stopped, no license I fear
That sirens I hear
Guess 90 on the freeway wasn't the brightest idea
As cops appear in my driver's side mirror
(Oh, God, police aaaghh)
Hope Foxtrot gets an aerial shot of your burial plot, at least
New plan Stan, Slim "chauvinist pig drove in this big Lincoln Town Car"
Well gotta go, almost at the bridge
Ha ha big bro it's for you, Slim, this is for him
And Frank Ocean; oh, hope you can swim good
Now say you hate homos again
[Part 2: Produced by StreetRunner]
[Verse 4]
I also represent anyone on the receiving end of those jokes you offend
I'm the nightmare you fell asleep and then woke up still in
I'm your karma closing in with each stroke of a pen
Perfect time to have some remorse to show for your sin
Nope, it's hopeless, I'm the denial that you're hopelessly in
When they say all of this is approaching its end
But you refuse to believe that it's over, here we go all over again
Back's to the wall, I’m stacking up all them odds
Toilets clogged, yeah cause I’m talking a lot of shit but I’m backing it all up
But in my head there’s a voice in the back and it hollers after the track is demolished
"I am your lack of a conscience"
I'm the ringing in your ears, I’m the polyps on the back of your tonsils
Eating your vocal chords after your concerts
I’m your time that’s almost up that you haven’t acknowledged
Grab for some water but I’m that pill that’s too jagged to swallow
I’m the bullies you hate, that you became with every faggot you slaughtered
Coming back on you, every woman you insult, batter but the double-standards you have when it comes to your daughters
I represent everything, you take for granted
‘Cause Marshall Mathers the rapper’s persona's half a facade
And Matthew and Stan’s just symbolic
Of you not knowing what you had 'till it’s gone
‘Cause after all the glitz and the glam
No more fans that are calling your name, cameras are off
Sad, but it happens to all of them
I’m the hindsight to say, “I told you so”
Foreshadows of all the things that are to follow
I’m the future that’s here to show you what happens tomorrow
If you don’t stop after they call ya
Biggest laughing stock of rap who can’t call it quits
When it’s time to walk away, I’m every guilt trip
The baggage you have, but as you gather up all your
Possessions, if there's anything you have left to say, unless it makes an impact, then don’t bother
So 'fore you rest your case, better make sure you’re packing a wallop
So one last time, I’m back, before it fades into black and it’s all
Over, behold the final chapter in a saga
Trying to recapture that lightning trapped in a bottle
Twice, the magic that started
It all, tragic portrait of an artist tortured trapped in his own drawings
Tap into thoughts blacker and darker
Than anything imaginable, here goes a wild stab in the dark, uh
As we (I) pick up where the last Mathers left off
2. PARKING LOT (SKIT)

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[Teller]
Don't kill me!
[Eminem]
Hurry the fuck up! *shoots the teller* Thank you! *running* Go, go, go! What the..fuck? The fuck he go? Mothafucka bail on me? Fuck you! *car stops working* Aw, you gotta be fucking kidding me! Are you fucking kidding me? Shit! *running* Get off! *shoots a dog* Ha-ha *sound of sirens* Parking lot! Shit, ah!
[Officer]
Let me see your hands, bend over!
[Eminem]
Ah, fuck it! *shoots himself*
3. RHYME OR REASON
[Intro]
(What's your name?) Marshall
(Who's your daddy?) I don't have one
[Verse 1]
My mother reproduced like the komodo dragon
And had me on the back of a motorcycle, then crashed in
The side of loco-motive with rap, I'm
Loco, it's like handing a psycho a loaded handgun
Michelangelo with a paint gun in a tantrum
'Bout to explode all over the canvas
Back with the Yoda of rap, "In a spasm
Your music usually has 'em
But waned for the game your enthusiasm it hasn't
Follow you must, Rick Rubin my little Padawan"
A Jedi in training, colossal brain and, thoughts are entertainin'
But docile and impossible to explain and, I'm also vain and
Probably find a way to complain about a Picasso painting
Puke Skywalker, but sound like Chewbacca when I talk
Full of such blind rage I need a seein' eye dog
Can't even find the page I was writing this rhyme on
Oh it's on the ram-page, couldn't see what I wrote I write small
It says, "Ever since I drove a '79 Lincoln with whitewall, had a fire in my heart
And a dire desire to aspire to Die Hard"
So as long as I'm on the clock punching this time card
Hip-hop ain't dying on my watch
[Hook]
Now sometimes, when I'm sleepin'
She comes to me in my dreams
Is she taken? Is she mine?
Don't got time, don't care, don't have two shits to give
Let me take you by the hand to, promised land
And threaten everyone
Cause there's no rhyme or no reason for nothing
[Bridge]
Now
(What's your name?) Marshall
(Who's your daddy?) I don’t know him, but I wonder
(Is he rich like me?) Ha
(Has he taken, any time, to show you what you need to live?)
[Verse 2]
No, if he had
He wouldn't have ended up in these rhymes on my pad
I wouldn't be so mad, my attitude wouldn't be so bad
Yeah Dad
I'm the epitome and the prime
Example of what happens when the power of the rhyme
Falls into the wrong hands, and
Makes you want to get up and start dancin'
Even if it is Charles Manson
Who just happens, to be rapping, blue lights flashing
Laughing all the way to the bank, lamping in my K-Mart mansion
I’m in the style department
With a pile in my cart, ripping the aisle apart but
With great power comes absolutely no responsibility for content
Completely, despondent and condescending
The king of nonsense and controversy is on a beat killing spree
Your honor, I must plead guilty, cause I sparked a revolution
Rebel without a cause who caused the evolution
Of rap, to take it to the next level, boost it
But several rebuked it, and whoever produced it
("Hip-hop is the devil's music") Does that mean it belongs to me?
Cause I just happen to be, a white honky devil with two horns
That don't honk but every time I speak you hear a beep
But, lyrically, I never hear a peep, not even a whisper
Rappers better stay clear of me, bitch, cause it's the...
[Hook]
It's the time of the season, when hate runs high
And this time, I won't give it to you easy
When I take back what's mine with pleasured hands
And torture everyone, that is my plan
My job here isn't done
Cause there's no rhyme or no reason for nothing
[Bridge]
(What's your name?) Shady
(Who's your daddy?) I don’t give a fuck, but I wonder
(Is he rich like me?) Doubt it, ha
(Has he taken, any time, to show you what you need to live?)
[Verse 3]
So yeah, Dad, let's walk
Let's have us a father and son talk
But I bet we wouldn't probably get one block
Without me knocking your block off, this is all your fault
Maybe that's why I'm so bananas, I a-ppealed to all those walks
Of life, whoever had strife
Maybe that's what dad and son talks are like
Cause I, related to the struggles of young America
When their fucking parents were unaware of their troubles
Now they're ripping out their fucking hair again, it's hysterical
I chuckle, as everybody bloodies their bare knuckles
Yeah uh-oh, better beware knuckle heads
The sign of my hustle says "Don't knock, the doors broken, it won't lock
It might just fly open, get cold-cocked
You critics come to pay me a visit?
Misery loves company, please stay a minute
Kryptonite to a hypocrite, zip your lip if you dish it but can't take it
Too busy getting stoned in your glass house, to kick rocks
Then you wonder why I lash out
Mr. Mathers as advertised on the flyers, so spread the word
Cause I'm promoting my passion until I'm passed out
Completely brain dead, Rain Man
Doing a Bankhead in a restraint chair
So, bitch, shoot me a look, it better be a blank stare
Or get shanked in the pancreas
I'm angrier than all eight other reindeer put together with Chief Keef
Cause I hate every fucking thing, yeah
Even this rhyme, bitch
And quit trying look for a fucking reason for it that ain't there
But I still am a "Criminal!"
Ten-year-old degenerate grabbing on my genitals!
The last Mathers LP done went diamond
This time I'm predicting this one will go emerald!
When will the madness end, how can it when
There's no method to the pad and pen
The only message that I have to send is, Dad
I'm back at it again
Yeah... (Who's your daddy?)
4. SO MUCH BETTER
[Intro]
You fucking groupie Pick up the goddamn phone
[Verse 1]
Bitch, where the fuck were you Tuesday? With who you say? I wasn't at the studio, bitch, what'cha do? Screw Dre? You went there looking for me? Boo, that excuse is too lame Keep playing me you're gonna end up with a huge goose egg You fake, lying slut you never told me you knew Drake And Lupe? You want to lose two legs? You trying to flip this on me? If I spent more time with you, you say "Okay, yeah and I'm coo-coo, ay?" Well, screw you, and I’d be the third person who screwed you today Oh, four; Dre, Drake, Lupe -- oohm touché You were too two-faced for me, thought you was my number one, true-blue ace But you ain't And I can't see you when you make that wittle boo-boo face Cause I'm hanging up this phone, boo You make my fucking blue tooth ache You're feeling blue? Too late Go smurf yourself, you make me wanna smurf and puke blue Kool Aid Here's what you say to someone you hate
[Hook]
My life would be so much better if you'd just drop dead I was laying in bed last night thinking and this thought just popped in my head And I thought, wouldn't shit just be a lot easier if you dropped dead I would feel so much better
[Verse 2]
Think I just relapsed, this bitch pushed me over the brink Hop on the freeway trying to get some time alone and just think 'Til the cops pulled me over, but they let me go cause I told 'em I'm only driving drunk, cause that bitch drove me to drink I'm back on my fuck hoes, with a whole new hatred for blondes But bias? I hate all bitches the same, baby come on Excuse the pun, but bitch is such a broad statement, and I'm Channeling my anger through every single station that's on Cause a woman broke my he-art, I say he-art Cause she ripped it in two pa-arts, and threw it in the garbage Who do you think you a-are, bitch? Guess it's time for me to get the dust off and pick myself up off the carpet But I'll never say the L-word again Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo... lesbian Aaahhh, I hope you hear this song and go into a cardiac arrest My life'd be so much better if you just
[Hook]
[Bridge]
Cause you told me, you love me, forever, bitch, that was a lie Now I never, wanted someone, to die, so bad in my fucking life But fuck it, there’s other fish in the sea
[Verse 3]
And I'mma have a whale of a time being a single sailor For the night, bitch on a scale of 1 to 10, shit, I must be the holy grail of Catches ho, I got an Oscar attached to my fucking name (Dayla) I might hit the club, find a chick that's tailor Made for me, say fuck it, kick some shots back, get hammered and nail her These bitches trying to get attached, but they're failing to latch onto the tail of My bumper they're scratching at the back of my trailer Like I'm itching to get hitched Yeah, I'm rich as a bitch But bitches ain't shit, I'd rather leave a bitch in a ditch Bitch you complain when you listen to this But you still throw yourself at me, that's what I call pitchin' a bitch That's why I'm swinging at this chicks on-site Long as I got a bat and two balls it's foul, but my dick's on strike So all that love shit is null and void, bitch I'm a droid I avoid Cupid, stupid wasn't for blow jobs, you'd be unemployed Oye-yoy-yoy, man oh man, your boy-boy-boy's getting sick of these girls-girls-girls, oink-oink-oink You fuckin' pigs, all you're good for is doink-doink-doink I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one She's all 99 of 'em; I need a machine gun I'll take 'em all out, I hope you hear this song and go into a cardiac arrest Have a heart attack and just Drop dead and I'mma throw a fucking party after this Cause yes
[Hook]
[Outro]
I'm just playing bitch, you know I love you
5. SURVIVAL
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[Hook: Liz Rodrigues]
This is survival of the fittest
This is do or die
This is the winner takes it all
So take it all a-all a-all a-all
[Verse 1]
Wasn't ready to be no millionaire, I was ill-prepared
I was prepared to be ill though, the skill was there
From the beginning, it wasn't 'bout the ends
It was 'bout busting raps and standing for something – fuckin' acronym
Cut the fucking act like you're happy, I'm fucking back again
With another anthem, why stop when it doesn't have to end
It ain't over 'til I say it's over – enough when I say enough
Throw me to them wolves and close the gate up, I'm afraid of what
Will happen to them wolves when the thought of being thrown into an alligator pit, I salivate at it, wait is up
Hands up like it's 12 noon, nah homie, hold them bitches straighter up
Wave 'em 'til you dislocate a rotator cuff
Came up rough, came to ruffle feathers, nah, egos
I ain't deflate enough
Last chance to make this whole stadium erupt cause
[Hook]
[Verse 2]
I can see the finish line with each line that I finish, I'm so close
To my goals I can almost pole vault over the goal post
And if I don't got enough in the tank, maybe I can just siphon enough
To fill up this last can, man will I survive in this climate or what?
They said I was washed up, and got a blood bath, I'm not a rapper, I'm an adapter - I can adjust
Plus, I can just walk up to a mic and just bust
So, floor's open if you'd like to discuss
Top 5 in this motherfucka and if I don't make the cut, what? Like I give a fuck
But I light this bitch up like I'm driving a truck
Through the side of a pump
0 to 60 hop in and gun it like G-Unit without the hyphen, I'm hyping 'em up
And if there should ever come a time where my life's in a rut
And I look like I might just give up, might've mistook
Me for bowing out I ain't taking a bow, I'm stabbing myself with a fucking knife in the gut, while I'm wiping my butt
Cause I just shitted on the mic, and I like getting cut
I get excited at the sight of my blood, you're in a fight with a nut
Cause I'mma fight 'til I die or win, biting the dust
It'll just make me angrier, wait, let me remind you of what
Got me this far, picture me quitting, now draw a circle around it and put a line through it, slut
It's survival of what?
[Hook]
[Verse 3]
So get your ideas, stack your ammo
But don't come unless you come to battle, now mount up, jump in the saddle
This is it - it's what you eat, sleep, piss and shit
Live, breathe, your whole existence just consists of this
Refuse to quit, fuse is lit, can't defuse the wick
If I don't do this music shit, I'll lose my shit
Ain't got shit to lose, it's the moment of truth, it's all I know how to do, as soon as I get thrown in a booth, I spit
But my respect is overdue, I'm showing you the flow no one do, cause I don't own no diploma for school, I quit
So there's nothing for me to fall back on, I know no other trade, so you'd better trade your fucking mics in for some tool-box-es
Cause you'll never take my pride from me, it'll have to be pried from me, so pull out your pliers and your screwdrivers
But I want you to doubt me, I don't want you to buh-lieve
Cause this is something that I must use to succeed
And if you don't like me then fuck you, self esteem
Must be fucking shooting through-the-roof cause trust me
My skin is too thick and bullet proof to touch me
I can see why the fuck I disgust you, I must be allergic to failure, cause every time I come close to it, I just sneeze
But I just go atchoo then A-chieve!
[Hook]
6. LEGACY
[Intro: Polina]
Tell me where to go, tell me what to do, I’ll be right there for you
Tell me what to say, don’t matter if it’s true, I’ll say it all for you
[Verse 1]
I used to be the type of kid that would always think the sky is fallin'
Why am I so differently wired? Am I a martian?
What kind of twisted experiment am I involved in?
Cause I don't belong in this world, that’s why I'm scoffin' at authority, defiant often flyin' off at
The handle at my mom, no dad, so I am non-com-
Pliant at home, at school, I’m just shy and awkward
And I don’t need no goddamn psychologist
Trying to diagnose why I have all these underlying problems
Thinking he can try and solve 'em, I’m outside chalking
Up drawings on the sidewalk and in the front drive talking
To myself, either that or inside hiding off in
The corner somewhere quiet, trying not to be noticed cause I’m crying and sobbin'
I had a bad day at school so I ain't talkin'
Some cocksucker shoved me into a fucking locker cause he said that I eye-balled him
[Bridge: Polina]
And if you fall, I'll catch you there
I’ll be your savior from all the wars
That are fought inside your world
Please have faith in my words
[Hook: Polina]
Cause this is my legacy (legacy)
This is my legacy (legacy)
There's no guarantee
It’s not up to me
You can only see
This is my legacy (legacy)
[Verse 2]
I used to be the type of kid that would always think the sky is fallin'
Why am I so differently wired in my noggin?
Cause sporadic as my thoughts come, it's mind bogglin'
Cause I obsess on everything in my mind, small shit
Bothers me, but not my father, he said sayonara, then split
But I don’t give a shit, I’m fine long as
There's batteries in my Walkman
Nothing is the matter with me, shit look on the bright side at least I ain’t walkin'
I bike ride through the neighborhood of my apartment
Complex on a ten-speed which I've acquired parts that
I find in the garbage, a frame then put tires on it
Headphones on, look straight ahead if kids try and start shit
But if this is all there is for me, life offers
Why bother even trying to put up a fight? It's nonsense
But I think a light bulb just lit up in my conscience
What about them rhymes I've been jottin', they are kind of giving me confidence
Instead of trying to escape through my comics
Why don't I just blast a little something, like Onyx
To put me in the mood to wanna fight and write songs that
Say what I want to say to the kid that said that I eyeballed him
Grab hold of my balls like that's right, fight's on bitch
Who woulda' knew from the moment I turned the mic on that
I could be iconic, in my conquest
That's word to Phife Dog from a Tribe Called Quest
[Hook]
[Verse 3]
I used to be the type of kid that would always think the sky is fallin'
Now I think the fact that I'm differently wired's awesome
Cause if I wasn't, I wouldn't be able to work words like this and connect lines like crosswords
And use my enemy's words as strength to try and draw from, and get inspired off 'em
Cause all my life I was told and taught I am not shit
By you wack fucking giant sacks of lying dog shit
Now you shut up bitch, I am talkin'
Thought I was full of horseshit and now you fucking worship the ground on which I am walkin'
Me against the world so what, I'm Brian Dawkins
Versus the whole 0-16 Lions offense
So bring on the Giants, Falcons and Miami Dolphins
It's the body bag game, bitch, I'm supplying coffins
Cause you dicks butt kiss, bunch of Brian Balding-
Ers, you're going to die a ball licker, I've been diabolic-
Al with this dialogue since '99 Rawkus
You don't respect the legacy I leave behind y'all can
Suck a dick, the day you beat me, pigs'll fly out my ass in a flying saucer full of Italian sausage
The most high exalting and I ain't haltin'
Till I die of exhaustion inhale my exhaust fumes
The best part about me is I am not
You, I'm me, I'm the Fire Marshall
And this is my
[Hook]
7. BERZERK
[Verse 1]
Now this shit's about to kick off, this party looks wack
Let's take it back to straight hip-hop and start it from scratch
I'm 'bout to bloody this track up, everybody get back
That's why my pen needs a pad cause my rhymes on the ra-ag
Just like I did with addiction I'm 'bout to kick it
Like a magician, critics I turn to crickets
Got 'em still on the fence whether to picket
But quick to get it impaled when I tell 'em stick it
So sick I'm looking pale, wait that's my pigment
Bout to go ham, ya bish, shout out to Kendrick
Let's bring it back to that vintage Slim, bitch!
The art of MCing mixed with da Vinci and MC Ren
And I don't mean Stimpy's friend, bitch
Been Public Enemy since you thought PE was gym, bitch
[Bridge]
Kick your shoes off, let your hair down
(And go berserk) all night long
Grow your beard out, just weird out
(And go berserk) all night long
[Hook]
We're gonna rock this house until we knock it down, so turn the volume loud Cause it's mayhem 'til the a.m
So baby make just like K-Fed and let yourself go, let yourself go
Say fuck it, before we kick the bucket
Life's too short to not go for broke
So everybody, everybody (go berserk) Grab your vial, yeah
[Verse 2]
Guess it's just the way that I'm dressed, ain't it
Khakis pressed, Nike shoes crispy and fresh laced, so I guess it ain't
That aftershave or cologne that made 'em just faint
Plus I showed up with a coat fresher than wet paint
So if love is a chess game, check mate
But girl, your body's banging, jump me in, dang, bang-bang
Yes siree 'Bob', I was thinking the same thang
So come get on this Kid's rock, baw with da baw, dang-dang
Pow-p-p-p-pow, chica, pow, chica, wow-wow
Got your gal blowing up a valve, valve-valve
Ain't slowing down, throw in the towel, towel-towel
Dumb it down, I don't know how, huh-huh, how-how
At least I know that I don't know
Question is are you bozos smart enough to feel stupid? Hope so
Now ho...
[Bridge]
[Hook 2]
We're gonna rock this house until we knock it down
So turn the volume loud, cause it's mayhem 'til the a.m
So crank the bass up like crazy and let yourself go, let yourself go
I say fuck it before we kick the bucket
Life's too short to not go for broke
So everybody, everybody (go berzerk) Get your vinyls
[Scratch]
[Verse 3]
They say that love is powerful as cough syrup in styrofoam
All I know is I fell asleep and woke up in that Monte Carlo
With the ugly Kardashian Lamar, oh
Sorry yo, we done both set the bar low
Far as hard drugs are though
That's the past, but I done did enough codeine to knock Future into tomorrow
And girl, I ain't got no money to borrow
But I am trying to find a way to get you a-loan (car note)
Oh, Marshall Mathers, shithead with a potty mouth, get the bar of soap
Lathered Kangol's and Carheartless Cargos
Girl, you're fixing to get your heart broke
Don't be absurd, ma'am, you birdbrain baby, I ain't called anybody baby since Birdman, unless you're a swallow
Word Rick, word man you heard, but don't get discouraged girl, this is your jam
Unless you got toe jam
[Bridge + Hook]
8. ASSHOLE FT. SKYLAR GREY
[Verse 1]
Came to the world at a time when it was in need of a villain
An asshole, that role; think I succeed in fulfilling
But don't think I ever stopped to think that I was speaking to children
Everything was happening so fast, it was like I blinked – sold three million
Then it all went blank, all I remember is feelin' ridiculous cause I was getting sick of this feelin'
Like I am always under attack, man, I could have stacked my shit list to the ceiling
Women dishing him but really thinking if anyone ever talks to one of my little girls like this I would kill him
Guess I'm a little bit of a hypocrite when I'm rippin' shit
But since when did this many
People ever give a shit what I had to say, it's just my opinion
If it contradicts how I'm living, put a dick in your rear end
That's why every time you mentioned a lyric, I thanked you for it
For drawing more attention toward it
Cause it gave me an enormous platform, I'm flattered you thought I was that important
But you can't ignore the fact that I fought for the respect and battle for it
Mad awards, had GLAAD annoyed atta-boy
They told me to slow down, and I just zone out
Good luck trying to convince a blonde, it's like telling Gwen Stefan(i) that she sold out
Cause I was trying to leave, No Doubt
In anyone's mind one day I'd go down in history think they know now
Cause everybody knows
[Hook: Skylar Grey]
Everybody knows that you're just an asshole
Everywhere that you go, people wanna go, "oh everyone knows"
Everybody knows, so don't pretend to be nice
There's no place you can hide
You are just an asshole
Everyone knows, everyone knows
[Bridge]
Thanks for the support, asshole *scratch*
Thanks for the support, asshole
[Verse 2]
Quit actin' salty, I was countin' on you to count me out
Ask Asher Roth when he round about dissed me to shout me out
Thought I was history, but goddamn honky, that compliment's like backhanding a donkey, good way to get your ass socked in the mouth
Nah, I'm off him, but what the fuck is all this thrash talking about?
The fight was fixed, I'm back and you can't stop me, you knocked me down
I went down for the count, I fell, but the fans caught me and now
You're gonna have to beat the fucking pants off me to take my belt
Word to Pacquiao, momma said there ain't nothing else to talk about
Better go in that ring and knock 'em out, or you better not come out
It's poetry in motion, like Freddie Roach when he's quoting
Shakespeare, so what if the insults are revolting
Even Helen Keller knows life stinks
You think it's a joke 'til you're bullet riddled, but you should give little shit what I think
This whole world is a mess, gotta have a goddamn
Vest on your chest and a Glock just to go watch Batman
Who needs to test a testicles? Not that man
Half of you don't got the guts and intestinal blockage, rest of you got lap bands
Stuck to this motto before they put bath salts and all those water bottles in Colorado
So get lost, Waldo, my soul's escaping through this asshole that is gaping
A black hole and I'm swallowing this track whole better pack toilet paper
But I'm not taking no crap, ho, here I go down the Bat Pole
And I'm changing back into that old maniac in fact there they go
Trying to dip out the back door retreating
Cause everybody knows
[Hook]
[Verse 3]
Holy mackerel, I'm the biggest jerk on the planet Earth, I smacked a girl
Off the mechanical bull at a tractor pull
For thinking we had some magnetic pull
Then screamed "ICP in this bitch! How do fucking magnets work?"
Cause you're attractive, but we ain't attractable
Hate to be dramatical, but I'm not romantical
I'm making up words you can understandable
It's tragical
Thinking some magical shit's gonna happen? That ain't practical
You cracking a joke, it's laughable
Cause me and love's like a bad combination, I keep them feelings locked in a vault so it's safe to say I'm uncrackable
My heart is truly guarded
Full body armor, bitch, you just need a helmet cause if you think you're special, you're retarded
Thinking you're one of a kind, like you got some platinum vagina
You're a train wreck, I got a one-track mind; shorty, you're fine but you sort of remind me of a 49er
Cause you been a gold digger since you was a minor
Been tryna hunt me down like a dog, cause you're on my ass but you can't get a scent
Cause all of my spare time is spent
On my nose in this binder, so don't bother tryin'
Only women that I love are my daughters, but sometimes I rhyme
And it sounds like I forget I'm a father, and I push it farther, so Father forgive me if I forget to draw the line
It's apparent I shouldn't have been a parent, I'll never grow up, so to hell with your parents And 'mother' fucking 'father' time
It ain't never gonna stop, a pessimist who transformed to an optimist in his prime
So even if I'm half dead, I'm half alive
Poured my half empty glass in a cup, so now my cup has runneth over
And I'm bout to set it on you like a muthafucking coaster
I’m going back to what got me here, yeah cocky, and
Can’t knock being rude off, so fear not my dear
And dry up your teardrops I'm here
White America's mirror, so don't feel awkward or weird
If you stare at me and see yourself, because you're one too, shouldn't be a shock, be-
-Cause everybody knows
9. RAP GOD
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[Intro]
Look, I was gonna go easy on you not to hurt your feelings
But I'm only going to get this one chance
Something's wrong, I can feel it (For six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)
Just a feeling I've got, like something's about to happen
But I don't know what if that means what I think it means
We're in trouble, big trouble
And if he is as bananas as you say, I'm not taking any chances
(You are just what the doc ordered)
[Verse 1]
I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slapbox, slapbox
They said I rap like a robot, so call me rapbot
But for me to rap like a computer must be in my genes, I got a laptop in my back pocket
My pen'll go off when I half-cock it, got a fat knot from that rap profit
Made a living and a killing off it
Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office
With Monica Lewinsky feeling on his (nut-sack), I'm an MC still as honest
But as rude and as indecent as all hell, syllables, skill-a-holic
(Kill em all with)this flippity dippity-hippity hip-hop, you don't really wanna get into a pissin’ match wit’ this rappity-rap
Packin’ a MAC in the back of the Ac, backpack rap crap, yap-yap yackety-yack
And at the exact same time, I attempt these lyrical acrobat stunts while I'm practicin' that
I'll still be able to break a mothafucking table over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half
Only realized it was ironic I was signed to Aftermath after the fact
How could I not blow, all I do is drop F-bombs, feel my wrath of attack
Rappers are having a rough time period, here's a maxi pad
It's actually disastrously bad for the wack while I'm masterfully constructing this master piece (yeah) cuz'
[Verse 2]
I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slapbox, slapbox
Let me show you maintaining this shit ain't that hard, that hard
Everybody want the key and the secret to rap immortality like I have got
Well, to be truthful the blueprint's simply rage and youthful exuberance
Everybody loves to root for a nuisance, hit the earth like an asteroid, did nothing but shoot for the moon since
MC's get taken to school with this music cause I use it
As a vehicle to 'bus the rhyme' now I lead a new school full of students
Me, I'm a product of Rakim, Lakim Shabazz, 2Pac, N-
W.A, Cube, Hey Doc, Ren Yella, Eazy, thank you, they got Slim
Inspired enough to one day grow up, blow up and be in a position
To meet Run DMC, and induct them into the motherfuckin' Rock n'-
Roll Hall of Fame
Even though I'll walk in the church and burst in a ball of flames
Only Hall of Fame I'll be inducted in is the alcohol of fame on the wall of (shame)
You fags think it's all a game, 'til I walk a flock of flames
Off a plank and, tell me what in the fuck are you thinking
Little gay lookin' boy
So gay I can barely say it with a straight face looking, boy
You're witnessing a massacre like you're watching a church gathering take place, looking boy
Oy vey, that boy's gay, that's all they say looking, boy
You get a thumbs up, pat on the back
And a "way to go" from your label everyday looking, boy
Hey, lookin' boy, what you say looking boy
I get a "hell yeah" from Dre looking, boy
I'ma work for everything I have, never ask nobody for shit, get outta my face looking boy
Basically, boy, you're never gonna be capable of keeping up with the same pace looking, boy cause
[Verse 3]
I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
The way I'm racing around the track, call me Nascar, Nascar
Dale Earnhardt of the trailer park, the White Trash God
Kneel before General Zod this planet's Krypton, no Asgard, Asgard
So you be Thor and I'll be Odin, you rodent, I'm omnipotent
Let off then I'm reloading immediately with these bombs I'm toting
And I should not be woken, I'm the walking dead, but I'm just a talking head, a zombie floating
But I got your mom deep throating
I'm out my Ramen Noodle, we have nothing in common, poodle
I'm a doberman, pinch yourself in the arm and pay homage, pupil
It's me, my honesty's brutal
But it's honestly futile if I don't utilize what I do though
For good at least once in a while, so I wanna make sure somewhere in this chicken scratch I scribble and doodle
Enough rhymes to maybe try to help get some people through tough times
But I gotta keep a few punchlines just in case cause even you unsigned
Rappers are hungry looking at me like it's lunchtime
I know there was a time where once I
Was king of the underground, but I still rap like I'm on my Pharoahe Monch grind
So I crunch rhymes, but sometimes when you combine
Appeal with the skin color of mine, you get too big and here they come tryin'
To censor you like that one line I said on "I'm Back" from the Mathers LP 1 when I tried to say I'll take seven kids from Columbine
Put 'em all in a line, add an AK-47, a revolver and a nine
See if I get away with it now that I ain't as big as I was, but I'm
Morphing into an immortal coming through the portal
You're stuck in a time warp from 2004, though
And I don't know what the fuck that you rhyme for, you're pointless as Rapunzel with fucking cornrows
You write normal, fuck being normal
And I just bought a new ray gun from the future just to come and shoot ya like when Fabolous made Ray J mad
Cause Fab said he looked like a fag at Mayweather’s pad
Singing to a man while they played piano
Man oh man, that was a 24/7 special on the cable channel
So Ray J went straight to the radio station the very next day, "Hey Fab
I'ma kill you!" lyrics coming at you at supersonic speed (J.J. Fad)
Uh, summa-lumma, dooma-lumma, you assuming I'm a human, what I gotta do to get it through to you? I'm superhuman
Innovative and I'm made of rubber so that anything you say is ricocheting off of me and it'll glue to you and
I'm devastating, more than ever demonstrating, how to give a mothafucking audience a feeling like it's levitating
Never fading, and I know the haters are forever waiting
For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating
Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated, I make elevating music, you make elevator music
"Oh, he's too mainstream," well, that's what they do when they get jealous, they confuse it
It's not hip-hop, it's pop, cause I found a hella way to fuse it
With rock, shock rap with Doc, throw on "Lose Yourself" and make 'em lose it
"I don't know how to make songs like that, I don't know what words to use"
Let me know when it occurs to you while I’m ripping any one of these verses, that versus you
It’s curtains, I’m inadvertently hurtin' you, how many verses I gotta murder to
Prove that if you were half as nice, your songs you could sacrifice virgins too
Unghh, school flunky, pill junky
But look at the accolades these skills brung me, full of myself, but still hungry
I bully myself cause I make me do what I put my mind to, and I'm a million leagues above you
Ill when I speak in tongues, but it's still tongue in cheek, fuck you
I'm drunk so Satan take the fucking wheel, I'm asleep in the front seat
Bumping Heavy D and the Boyz "Still chunky but funky"
But in my head there's something I can feel tugging and struggling
Angels fight with devils and here's what they want from me
They're asking me to eliminate some of the women hate, but if you take into consideration the bitter hatred
I had Then you may be a little patient and more sympathetic to the situation and understand the discrimination
But fuck it, life's handing you lemons, make lemonade then
But if I can't batter the women, how the fuck am I supposed to bake them a cake then?
Don't mistake him for Satan
It's a fatal mistake if you think I need to be overseas and take a vacation
To trip abroad and make her fall on her face and
Don't be a retard, be a king? Think not
Why be a king when you can be a god?
10. BRAINLESS
[Intro]
Eminem has a full line of chainsaws
Eminem, Eminem, Eminem, Eminem
Marshall Mathers, Eminem... the rapper Eminem
"Who can say for sure? Perhaps a frontal lobotomy would be the answer
If science could operate on this distorted brain and put it to good use
Society would reap a great benefit."
[Verse 1]
I walk around like a space cadet, place your bets
Who's likely to become a serial killer, case of Tourettes
Fuck, fuck-fuck, can't take the stress
I make a mess as the day progresses
Angry and take it out on the neighbors hedges
Like this is how I'll cut your face up bitches
With these hedge trimming scissors with razor edges
Imagination's dangerous, it's
The only way to escape this mess and make the best of this situation I guess
Cause I feel like a little bitch, this predicament's
Despicable, I'm sick of just gettin' pushed, it's ridiculous
I look like a freakin' wuss, a pussy, this kid just took
My stick of licorice and threw my sticker books in a pricker bush
I wanna kick his tush, but I was six and shook
This fucker was twelve and was six foot, with a vicious hook
He hit me, I fell; I got back up, all I did was book
Now there's using your head
Momma always said
[Hook]
If you had a brain, you'd be dangerous - a brain, you'd be dangerous
I'ma prove you wrong
Momma, I'mma grow one day to be famous, and I'mma be a pain in the anus
I'ma be the bomb
I'ma use my head as a weapon, find a way to escape this insaneness
Momma always said, "Son, if you had a brain, you'd be dangerous"
Guess it pays to be brainless
[Verse 2]
Fast forward some years later, a teenager; this is fun, sweet
I just got jumped twice in one week, it's complete
It's usually once a month, this is some feat
I've accomplished, they've stomped me into the mud, gee for what reason, you stumped me
But how do you get the shit beat out of you, beat down and be upbeat when you don't have nothing?
No valid shot at life, chance to make it or succeed
Cause you're doomed from the start, it's like you grew up on Jump Street, from jump street
But if I could just get my head out my ass
I could accomplish any task
Practicing trash talkin'
In a trance locked in my room, yeah, but I got some plans, Momma
These damn rhymes are falling out of my pants pocket, I can't stop it
And I'm starting to blend in more
In school this shit helps for sure
I'm getting more self-assured than I've ever been before
Plus no one picks on me anymore, I done put a stop to that, threw my first punch - end of story
Still in my skull is a vacant empty void, been using it more as a bin for storage
Take some inventory
In this gourd there's a Ford engine, door hinge, syringe, an orange, an extension cord, and a Ninja sword, not to mention four linchpins an astringent stored
Ironing board, a bench, a wrench an oru winch, an attention whore
Everything but a brain, but dome's off the fucking chain like an independent store
Something's wrong with my head
Just think if I had a brain in it, thank God that I don't, cause I'd probably be Dahmer, cause Momma always said
[Hook]
[Bridge]
Now my Mom goes wahm-wahm-wahm
Cause I'm not that smart, but I'm not dumb
I was on a bottom of the pile getting stomped
But somehow, I came out on top
[Verse 3]
I told you one day, I said they'd have that red carpet rolled out, yo
I'm nice, yo, fuck it, I'm out cold
Now everywhere I go they scream out go, I'm 'bout to clean house, yo
I'm Lysol, now I'm just household
Outsold the sell-outs, freak the hell out Middle America, hear 'em yell out in terror they were so scared and those kids
Just about, belted out whatever spouted or fell out of my smart aleck mouth, it was so weird
Inappropriate, so be it, I don't see it
Maybe one day when the smoke clears, it won't be as
Mothafucking difficult, ch-yeah, 'til then, hopefully ya
Little homos get over your fears and phobias
It's okay to be scared straight, they said I provoke queers
'Til emotions evoke tears, my whole career's
A stroke of sheer genius, smoke and mirrors, tactical, practical jokes, yeah
You mothafuckin' (insert insult here)
Who the fuck would've thunk that one little ole MC'd
Be able to take the whole culture and re-upholstery it?
And boy, they did flock; can't believe this little hick locked
This hip-hop shit in his hip pocket and still the shit got
That white trash traffic in gridlock, shit hopping like six blocks
From a Kid Rock, Insane Clown Posse Concert in mid Oc-
-Tober, and God forbid I see a wizard and get a brain in my titanium cranium y'all, cause
I'd turn into the Unabomber, Momma always said
[Hook]
[Outro]
Insaneness ain't even a word, you stupid fuck
Neither is ain't
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11. STRONGER THAN I WAS
[Verse 1]
You used to say that I'd never be
Nothing without you and I'd believe
I'm shot in the lungs, I gasp, I can't breathe
Just lay here with me, baby, hold me please
And I'd beg and I'd plead, drop to knees
And I'd cry and I'd scream, "Baby, please don't leave"
Snatch the keys from your hand, I would squeeze
And you'd laugh, and you'd tease, you're just fucking with me
And you must hate me, why do you date me if you say I make you sick?
And you've had enough of me, I smother you, I'm 'bout to jump off the edge
[Hook]
But you won't break me, you'll just make me stronger than I was
Before I met you, I bet you I'll be just fine without you
And if I stumble, I won't crumble, I'll get back up and uhh
But I'mma still be humble when I scream "fuck you," cause I'm stronger than I was
[Verse 2]
A beautiful face is all that you have
Cause on the inside you're ugly and mad
But you're all that I love, I grasp, you can't leave
Please stay here with me, baby hold me please
And I'd beg and I plead, drop to knees
And I'd cry and I'd scream, baby, please don't leave
But you left and you took everything I had left
And left nothing, nothing for me
So please don't wake me from this dream, baby, we're still together in my head
And you're still in love with me 'til I woke up to discover that that dream was dead
[Hook]
[Verse 3]
You walked out, I almost died
It was almost a homicide that you caused cause I was so traumatized
Felt like I was in for a long bus ride, I’d rather die than you not be by my side
Can't count how many times I vomited, cried, go to my room, turn the radio on and hide
Thought we were Bonnie and Clyde, nah, on the inside you were Jekyll and Hyde, I, felt like my
Whole relationship with you was a lie, it was you and I, why did I think it was ride or die?
Cause if you coulda, took my life you woulda, it's like you put a
Knife through my chest and pushed it right through to the
Other side of my back and stuck a spike too, shoulda
Put up more of a fight, but I couldn't, at the time, no one could hurt me like you coulda
Take you back now, what's the likelihood of that? Bite me bitch, chew on a nineteen footer
But this morning I finally stood up, held my chin up, finally showed a sign of life in me for the
First time since you left me and left me with nothing but shattered dreams and the life we coulda
Had and we could've been, but I'm breaking out of this slump I'm in
Pulling myself out of the dumps once again, I'm getting up once and for all, fuck this shit
I'ma be late for the pity party, but you're never gonna beat me to the fucking punch again
Took it on the chin like a champ, so don't lump me in with the chump-ions
I'm done being your punching bag
[Bridge]
It was the November 31st today
Would've been our anniversary, two years but you left on the 1st of May
I wrote it on a calendar, was gonna call but couldn't think of the words to say
But they came to me just now, so I put 'em in a verse to lay
And I thank you cause you made me a better person than I was
But I hate you cause you drained me, I gave you all, you gave me none
But if you blame me, you're crazy and after all is said and done
I'm still angry, yeah, I may be, I may never trust someone
[Hook]
Insaneness ain't even a word, you stupid fuck
Neither is ain't
12. THE MONSTER FT. RIHANNA
[Hook: Rihanna]
I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed
Get along with the voices inside of my head
You're trying to save me, stop holdin' your breath
And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy
[Verse 1: Eminem]
I wanted the fame, but not the cover of Newsweek
Oh well, guess beggars can't be choosey
Wanted to receive attention for my music
Wanted to be left alone in public, excuse me
For wanting my cake, and eat it too, and wanting it both ways
Fame made me a balloon cause my ego inflated when I blew, see
But it was confusing, cause all I wanted to do's be
The Bruce Lee of loose leaf
Abused ink, used it as a tool when blew steam
Hit the lottery, ooh-wee
But with what I gave up to get it was bittersweet
It was like winning a used mink
Ironic cause I think I'm getting so huge I need a shrink
I'm beginning to lose sleep
One sheep, two sheep
Going coo-coo and kooky as Kool Keith
But I'm actually weirder than you think
Cause I'm...
[Hook]
[Bridge: Rihanna]
Well, that's nothing
[Verse 2: Eminem]
Now, I ain't much of a poet but I know somebody once told me to seize the moment and don't squander it
Cause you never know when it all could be over tomorrow, so I keep conjuring
Sometimes I wonder where these thoughts spawn from
(Yeah, pondering'll do you wonders
No wonder you're losing your mind, the way it wanders)
Yodel-odel-ay-hee-hoo!
I think it went wandering off down yonder
And stumbled onto Jeff VanVonderen
Cause I need an interventionist to intervene between me and this monster
And save me from myself and all this conflict
Cause the very thing that I love's killing me and I can't conquer it
My OCD is conking me in the head, keep knockin'
Nobody's home, I'm sleepwalkin'
I'm just relaying what the voice in my head is saying
Don't shoot the messenger, I'm just friends with the...
[Hook + Bridge]
[Verse 3: Eminem]
Call me crazy, but I have this vision
One day that I'll walk amongst you a regular civilian
But until then drums get killed and I'm
Coming straight at MCs, blood gets spilled and I'll
Take it back to the days that I'd get on a Dre track
Give every kid who got played that, pumped up feelin'
And shit to say back to the kids who played him
I ain't here to save the fucking children
But if one kid out of a hundred million
Who are going through a struggle feels it and
Relates, that's great, it's payback, Russell Wilson
Falling way back in the draft, turn nothing into something, still can
Make that, straw into gold chump, I will spin
Rumpelstiltskin in a haystack
Maybe I need a straight jacket, face facts
I am nuts for real, but I'm okay with that
It's nothing, I'm still friends with the...
[Hook + Bridge]
13. SO FAR...
[Intro]
I own a mansion, but live in a house
A king-size bed, but I sleep on the couch
I'm Mr. Brightside, glass is half-full
But my tank's half empty, gasket just blew
[Verse 1]
This always happens
30 minutes from home, gotta lay a log cabin, only option I have's McDonalds's bathroom
In a public stall dropping a football, so every time someone walks in the john I get maddene
"Shady, what up?" What? Come on, man, I'm crappin'
And you're asking me for my goddamn autograph on a napkin?
Oh that's odd, I just happened
To run out of tissue, yeah, hand me that, on second thought I'd be glad then
"Thanks dawg, name's Todd, a big fan"
I wiped my ass with it, crumbled it up in a wad and threw it back and
Told him "Todd, you're the shit"; when's all of this crap end?
Can't pump my gas without causing an accident
Puff my gas, cut my grass, can't take out the fucking trash
Without someone passing through my sub harassing
I'd count my blessings, but I suck at math
I'd rather wallow than bask suffering succotash, but the ant-
Acid, it gives my stomach gas
When I mix my corn with my fucking mashed
Potatoes, so what, ho kiss my country bumpkin ass
Missouri Southern roots, what the fuck is upper class
Call lunch dinner, call dinner supper, Tupperware in the cupboard, plastic ware up the ass
Stuck in the past, iPod, what the fuck is that
B-Boy to the core, mule, I'm a stubborn ass
[Hook]
Maybe that's why I feel so strange
Got it all, but I still won't change
Maybe that's why I can't leave Detroit
It's the motivation that keeps me going
This is the inspiration I need
I can never turn my back on a city that made me and
(Life's been good to me so far)
[Verse 2]
They call me classless, I heard that, I second and third that, don't know what the fuck I would doing if it weren't rap
Probably be a giant turd sack
But I blew, never turned back
Turned 40 and still sag, teenagers act more fucking mature, Jack
Fuck you gonna say to me? I leave on my own terms ass-
Hole, I'm going berzerk, my nerves are bad
But I love the perks my work has
I get to meet famous people, look at her dag
Her nylons are ran, her skirt's snagged, and I heard she drag-races, *burp* swag
Tuck in my Hanes shirt tag
You're Danica Patrick (yeah) word, skag
We'd be the perfect match, cause you're a vacuum, I'm a dirtbag
My apologies, no disrespect to technology, but what the heck is all of these buttons, you expect me to sit here and learn that?
Fuck I gotta do to hear this new song from Luda, be an expert at
Computers? I'd rather be an Encyclopedia Britannica, Hell with
Playstation, I'm still on my first man on some Zelda
Nintendo, bitch! Run, jump, punch, stab and I melt the
Mozzarella on my spaghetti, put in on bread, make a sandwich with Welch's
And belch
They say this spray butter is bad for my health but
I think this poor white trash from the trailer
Jed Clampett, Fred Sanford and welfare mentality helps ta
Keep me grounded, that's why I never take full advantage of wealth, I
Managed to dwell within these parameters, still crammin' the shelves full of Hamburger Helper
I can't even help it, this is the hand I was dealt a
Creature of habit, feel like I'm trapped in an animal shelter
With all these pet peeves, goddammit to hell, I
Can't stand all these kids with their camera cellphones
I can't go anywhere, I get so mad I could yell the
Other day someone got all elaborate and stuck a head from a fucking dead cat in my mailbox
Went to Burger King, they spit on my onion rings
I think my karma is catching up with me
[Hook]
[Bridge]
Got friends on Facebook, all over the world
Not sure what that means, they tell me it's good
So I'm artist of the decade, I even got a plaque
I'd hang it up, but the frame is all cracked
[Verse 3]
I'm trying to be low-key, hopefully nobody notices me
In produce, hunched over, giant nosebleed
Ogre style as I mosey over to the frozen aisle by the frozen yogurt this guy approached me
Embarrassed, I just did Comerica with Hova, show's over, I'm hiding in Kroger buying groceries
He just had front row seats, told me to sign this poster, then insults me
"Wow, up close didn't know you had crow's feet"
I'm at a crossroad, lost, still shopping at Costco's
Sloppy Joe's, bulk waffles
Got caught picking my nose (agh!), look over see these two hot hoes
Finger still up one of my nostrils
Right next to 'em stuck at the light, the fucking shit's
Taking forever to change, it's stuck, these bitches are loving it
Rubbing it in, chuckling
Couldn't do nothing, play it off
"What you bumping? "Trunk Muzik, Yelawolf's better," fucking bitch
They want me to flip at the label, but I won't succumb to it
The pressure, they want me to follow up with a-
Nother one after Recovery was so highly coveted
But what good is a fucking recovery if I fumble it?
Cause I'mma drop the ball if I don't get a grip hopping out shrubbery on you sons of bitches
Wrong subdivision
To fuck with, bitch, quit snappin' fucking pictures of my kids, I love my city
But you pushed me to the limit, what a pity
The shit I complain about
It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out
Kool Aid stain on the couch, I'd never get it out
Bitch, I got an elevator in my house, ants and a mouse
I'm living the dream
[Hook]
14. LOVE GAME FT. KENDRICK LAMAR
[Verse 1: Eminem]
Something's burning, I can't figure out what (out what)
It's either lust or a cloud of dust
Judgement is clouded, must just be the powder from the power of (love)
But I'm in something I don't know how to get out of
Left my girl in the house alone, is that my soon to be spouse’s moan, and the further I walk, the louder
Pause for a minute to make certain that's what I heard, cause after all, this is her place
So I give her the benefit of the doubt I
Think I might be about to busta, bust her, the thought's scary, yo, though and it hurts - brace
Hope it ain't, "Here we go, yo," cause my head already goes to worst case scenario, though in the first place
But you confirmed my low end theory though should've known when I made it all the way to third base
And that was only the first date, could've made it to home plate
But you slid straight for the dome and dove face
First, "No (slurp) you don't (slurp) under (slurp) stand (slurp) I (slurp) don't (slurp) do (slurp) this for anyone, ever," yeah that ain't what they all say
I'll say, you can suck a softball through a straw, used to be my fiance
'Til you sucked on Wayne, Andre, and Kanye
LeBron, Akon, Jay, Lil Jon, Raekwon, Ma$e, Polow Tha Don, Dre
Dante Ross, James Conway, Kwame
Guess I'm gettin' my g-god dang Jigga on, eh?
Cause your name, I'm beyond sayin'
But fuck it, I'm movin' on, you women are all cray
But I'll probably always keep on playing
[Bridge: Sample]
The game of love, love, love, love
La-la-la-la-la love
[Hook: Kendrick Lamar]
She doesn't love me, no she don't love me no more
She hates my company, yeah she don't love me no more
I tried to get her up out of my head, left my bags at the door
She screamed she loved me like she never did before
And I told her
(Go where you wanna go, go do whatcha want to do; I don't care) x2
[Verse 2: Kendrick Lamar]
I told that bitch
I'm a sucker for love, you're a sucker for dick
Sucking dick in your momma tub, then your granny walked in
Told the stupid nigga to duck under the water
He drowned, like an abortion, they booked you for manslaughter
You beat the case and I called ya
"Sherane is not available now leave a message at the tone
And Kendrick don't forget to buy two pair of those
Expensive heels, you little fucking Ferris Wheel
Fucking spinning on me, fuck you think we gon' get married still?
Fucking Mary had a little lamb, this ain't no fairy tale
Fairy godmomma better tell you how I fucking feel
Like you should fuckin' beat it or fucking eat it while I'm on my period
Now have a blessed day," bitch, you serious?
I'm in the mirror with this look on my face, curious
Why you ain't fucking with me, you cut me deep as a Caesarean
You know I want you bad as a Benjamin, I'm delirious
I want you bad as the head shattered on George Zimmerman
After the Dillinger hit him diligently and killing him
His mouthpiece for a Cadillac emblem
That's analogy and metaphor for you
I should win a medal for all the ways I adore you
This is me talking cordial, yeah I got some home trainin'
That ain't what you like, ain't it, what about if I was as famous
As Marshall? Would you give fellatio in the carpool?
Cops pull us over, they just wanna know if you gargle
Singin' "I hope she's good enough"
Meanwhile you're chasing her
Chlamydia couldn't even get rid of her
Pity the fool and pity the fool in me, I'ma live with the
[Bridge: Sample]
[Hook: Kendrick Lamar & Eminem]
[Verse 3: Eminem]
So needless to say I'm feelin' betrayed, snatch my house key off her key chain
She jumps off Wee-Bey from The Wire's dick, now she's chasing me with a cheese grater
Here goes that broken record, cliché, it's all my fault anyway, she's turning the tables, I'm a beat-break
She treats my face like Serato, she cuts and scratches like a DJ, each day is an Instant Replay
They say what we display, is symptomatic of attack behave-
Ior, back together but forgot today was her b-day, she cut me off on the freeway
Simple misunderstanding but just as I went to slam on the brakes, that's when I realized that she may be as crazy as me, wait
Bitch cut my fucking brakeline, stepped on them fuckers 8 times, still goin' 73, thank
God there's an exit coming up, what the mother F-U-C-K's
Wrong with her, hit the off ramp 'til I coasted to a goddamn halt, hit a fucking tree now
Here she comes at full speed, she's racing at me, okay you wanna fuck with me, eh
Snatch the bitch out her car through the window, she screaming, I body slam her on the cement, until the concrete gave
And created a sinkhole, buried this stink ho in it, then pay to have the street repaved
(The fuck?) Woke up in a dream state
In a cold sweat like I got hit with a freeze ray during a heat wave
Guess I eventually caved though, cause she's laying next to me in bed
Directly aiming a gat at my head
Woke up again and jumped up like fuck it, I've had it, I'm checking into rehab
I confess I'm a static addict, I guess
That's why I'm so clingy, every girl I've ever had either says
I got too much baggage or I'm too fucking dramatic, man what the fuck is the matter, I'm just
A fucking romantic, I fucking love you, you fucking bitch! Combative, possessive, in fact last time I was mad at an ex
I actually set off a chain reaction of tragic events
I said, "Hit the road" and after she left, I sent that bitch a text
I said, "Be careful driving, don't read this and have an accident!" She glanced to look at it and wrecked
Too bad, thought we had a connect, no sense dwelling makes
Never been a more compelling case than the model covered in L'Oreal and mace
Who fell from grace eleven stories for storytelling while the whore was yelling, "Rape"
'Til her vocal cords were swelling and her voice were more hoarser than Tori Spellings' face
Still they swarm the gates
And my fancy estates to greet Norman Bates with a warm embrace
Unless you're Andrea Yates, don't ask me for a date, don't be late, well the sentiment's great
But wait, think there's been a mistake
You wanted an intimate date, I wanna intimidate
I have infinite hate in my blood
It's mainly because of the game of, (*Message sound*) "Wait, dinner at eight?"
I have infinite hate in my blood
It's mainly because of the game of...
[Outro]
Love, love, love, love
L-l, l-l-l-love
15. HEADLIGHTS FT. NATE RUESS
[Intro: Nate Ruess]
Mom, I know I let you down
And though you say the days are happy
Why is the power off and I'm fucked up
And Mom, I know he's not around
But don't you place the blame on me
As you pour yourself another drink, yeah
[Hook: Nate Ruess]
I guess we are who we are
Headlights shining in the dark night I drive on
Maybe we took this too far
[Verse 1]
I went in headfirst, never thinking about who what I said hurt, in what verse
My Mom probably got it the worst
The brunt of it, but as stubborn as we are, did I take it too far
Cleaning Out My Closet and all them other songs, but regardless I don't hate you, cause Ma
You're still beautiful to me, cause you're my Mom
Though far be it for you to be too calm, our house was Vietnam
Desert Storm and both of us put together could form an atomic bomb
Equivalent to Chemical Warfare, and forever we could drag this on and on
But, agree to disagree, that gift for me up under the Christmas tree
Don't mean shit to me, you're kicking me out? It's 15 degrees
And it's Christmas Eve ("Little prick, just leave"), Ma let me grab my fucking coat
Anything to have each other's goats, why we always at each others throats
Especially when dad, he fucked us both, we're in the same fucking boat
You'd think that'd make us close (nope) further away it drove
Us, but together, headlights shine, and a car full of belongings, still got a ways to go
Back to grandma's house, it's straight up the road
And I was the man of the house, the oldest, so my shoulders carried the weight of the load
Then Nate got taken away by the state at 8-years-old
And that's when I realized you were sick and it wasn't fixable or changeable
And to this day we remain estranged and I hate it though
But...
[Hook]
[Verse 2]
Cause to this day we remain estranged and I hate it though
Cause you ain't even get to witness your grandbabies grow
But I'm sorry Mama for Cleaning Out My Closet, at the time I was angry, rightfully, maybe so
Never meant that far to take it though, cause now I know it's not your fault, and I'm not making jokes
That song I'll no longer play at shows and I cringe every time it's on the radio
And I think of Nathan being placed in a home
And all the medicine you fed us and how I just wanted you to taste your own
But now the medication's taking over and your mental state's deteriorating slow
And I'm way too old to cry, the shit is painful though
But Ma, I forgive you, so does Nathan, yo
All you did, all you said, you did your best to raise us both
Foster care, that cross you bear, few may be as heavy as yours
But I love you Debbie Mathers, oh, what a tangled web we have cause
One thing I never asked was where the fuck my deadbeat dad was
Fuck it I guess he had trouble keeping up with every address
But I'd have flipped every mattress, every rock and desert cactus
Own a collection of maps and followed my kids to the edge of the atlas
If someone ever moved them from me, that you could've bet your asses
If I had to come down the chimney dressed as Santa
Kidnap 'em, and although one has only met their grandma
Once you pulled up in our drive one night, as we were leaving to get some hamburgers
Me, her and Nate, we introduced you, hugged you, and as you left I had this overwhelming sadness
Come over me as we pulled off to go our separate paths, and
I saw your headlights as I looked back, and I'm mad I didn't get the chance to
Thank you for being my mom and my dad, so
Mom, please accept this as a tribute I wrote this on the jet, I guess I had to
Get this off my chest, I hope I get the chance to lay it before I'm dead, the stewardess said to fasten
My seatbelt, I guess we're crashin'
So if I'm not dreaming, I hope you get this message
That I'll always love you from afar
Cause you're my Ma
[Hook]
[Bridge: Nate Ruess]
I want a new life, (start over) one without a cause (clean slate)
So I'm coming home tonight, well, no matter what the cost
And if the plane goes down, or if the crew can't wake me up
Well, just know that I'm alright
I was not afraid to die
Oh even if there's songs to sing, my children will carry me
Just know that I'm alright
I was not afraid to die
Because I put my faith in my little girls
So I never say goodbye cruel world
Just know that I'm alright
I am not afraid to die
[Hook]
16. EVIL TWIN
[Intro]
Yeah, trying to figure out the difference
But I think the lines are starting to get blurred
[Verse 1]
I'm in a strange place
I feel like Ma$e when he gave up the game for his faith
I feel like I'm caged in these chains and restraints
Grimming every stranger in the place while I gaze into space
Cause I'm mentally rearranging his face
I need a change of pace cause the pace I'm working at is dangerous
There's nowhere to dump this anger and thanks to this angst
I done quit chicken heads cold turkey and started slowly roasting 'em
Cause that's where most of my anger is based
Fuck your feelings, I feel like I play for the Saints
I just want to hurt you - aim for the skanks
Then aim for all these fake Kanye's, Jay's, Wayne's and the Drake's
I'm frustrated cause ain't no more N'Sync, now I'm all out of whack
I'm all out of Backstreet Boys to call out and attack
I'm going all out in this rap shit and whatever the fallout is I'm strapped
For battles sucka - duck, crawl out the back
It's a bar fight, prepare your arsenal and beware of bar stools
Flying through the air and bottles breaking, mirrors also
And I ain't stopping 'til the swear jar's full
"You done called every woman a slut
But you're forgetting Sarah, Marshall (Palin)"
Oh, my bad. Slut
And next time I show to in court I'll be naked and just wear a lawsuit
Judge be like "That's sharp, how much did that motherfucker cost you?
Smart-ass, you're lucky I don't tear it off you
And jump your bones, you sexy motherfucker
You're so fucking gravy, Marshall I should start calling you 'au jus'
Cause all you do is spit them lyrics out the wazoo"
Evil twin, take this beat now, it's all you
I believe people can change, but only for the worse
I could've changed the world if it wasn't for this verse
So satanic, K-Mart chains panic
Cause they can't even spin back the curse words
Cause they're worse when they're reversed motherfucker
(Rape your mother, kill your parents) [shit, motherfucker]
And these kids are like parrots, they run around the house just like terrorists
Screaming, "fuck, shit, fuck" adult with a childish-like arrogance
Wild ever since the day I came out I was like, merits
Fuck that - I'd rather be loud and I like swearing
From the first album even the gals were like "tight lyrics
Dreamy eyes", but my fucking mouth was nightmare-ish
And from the start of it you felt like you were part of this and
Opposition felt the opposite, sometimes I listen
And revisit them old albums often as I can and skim through all them bitches
To make sure I keep up with my competition (ha ha)
Hogger of beats, hoarder of rhymes
Borderline genius who's bored of his lines
And that sort of defines where I'm at and the way I feel now
Feel like I might just strike first and ignore the replies
[Hook]
There's darkness closing in (evil twin)
There it goes again (my evil twin)
It controls my pen, but that ain't me, it's my evil twin
(Then I step out and see my evil twin, he gives me an evil grin)
But he's just a friend
Who pops up now and again
So don't blame me (evil twin)
Just blame him, it's my evil twin)
(I step out and see my evil twin, he gives me an evil grin)
[Interlude]
Welcome back to the land of the living, my friend
You have slept for quite some time
[Verse 2]
So who's left, Lady Gaga? Mess with the Bieber
Nah, F with Christina, I ain't fucking with either Jessica neither
Simpson or Alba, my albums just sicker than strep with the fever
Get the Cloriseptic, Excedrin, Aleve or
Extra Strength Tylenol 3's, feel like I'm burning to death but I'm freezing
Bed ridden and destined never to leave the
Bedroom ever again like the legend of Heath-uh-
Ledger, my suicide notes, barely legible read the
Bottom, it's signed by the Joker, Lorena said I never can leave her
She'd sever my wiener I ever deceive her
Fuck that shit bitch, Give up my dick for pussy?
I'd be Jerry Mathers, I ever left it to Beaver
Get them titties cut off trying to mess with a cleaver
Golly-wally, I vent, heat register, Jesus
Ever since 1-9-9-4-6 Dresden, it was definitely my
Destiny when on the steps, I met DeShaun
At Osborn, I'd never make it to sophomore
I just wanted to skip school and rap, used to mop floors
Flip burgers and wash dishes, but I wrote rhymes trying to get props for 'em
Cause I took book-smarts and swapped for 'em
They were sleeping, I made 'em stop snorin'
Made them break out the popcorn
Now I've been hip-hop in it's tip-top form
Since N.W.A was blaring through my car windows leaning on the horn
Screaming "Fuck the police" like cop porn
Flipped rap on its ear like I dropped corn
Fuck top five, bitch, I'm top four
And that includes Biggie and Pac, whore
And I got an Evil Twin
So who the fuck do you think that third and that fourth spot's for?
And crazy as I am I'm much tamer than him
And I'm nuts, then again who the fuck wants a plain Eminem?
But no one's insaner than Slim, look at that (evil grin)
(Evil twin) please come in, what was your name again?
Hi! Faggot
Look who's back with a crab up his ass
Like a lobster crawled up there
Two rabbits, a koala bear and a ball of hair
And you're all aware I don't got it all upstairs
Guess that's why I'm an addict and it's so small up there
Peace to Whitney, jeez just hit me
That I should call the Looney Police to come get me
Cause I'm so sick of being the truth, I wish someone finally admit me
To a mental hospital with Britney
Oh LMFAO, no way, Jo-
Se Baez couldn't beat this rap, OJ no
Hooray, I'm off the hook like Casey Anthony, (hey ho) Hey-ho!
I sound like I'm trying to sing the fucking chorus to "Hip Hop Hooray", no
I’m hollering you got bottom-end like an 8-0-
8 and I 'base' whether we're fucking off that instead of your face, so
Let your low end raise, yo
Tango, what you think, ho? Slow dancing or bowling?
You trying to hold hands with your homie?
What, you think I'm looking for romance cause I'm lonely?
Change that tune, you ain't got a remote chance to control me
Ho, I'm only vulnerable when I got a bo-ner
Superman try to fuck me over, it won't hurt
Don't try to fix me, I'm broke so I don't work
So are you, but you're broke cause you don't work
But all bullshit aside, I hit a stride
Still Shady inside, hair every bit is dyed
As it used to be when I first introduced y'all to my skittish side
And blamed it on him when they tried to criticize
Cause we are the same, bitch