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1. BAD GUY

[Verse 1]

It’s like I'm in this dirt, digging up old hurt

Tried everything to get my mind off you, it won’t work

All it takes is one song on the radio you’re

Right back on it reminding me all over again

How you fucking just brushed me off and left me so burnt

Spent a lot of time trying to soul search

Maybe I needed to grow up a little first

Well, looks like I hit a growth spurt

But I'm coming for closure

Don’t suppose an explanation I’m owed for

The way that you turned your back on me

Just when I may have needed you most

Oh, you thought it was over?

You could just close the

Chapter and go about your life, like it was nothing

You ruined mine, but you seem to be doing fine

Well I've never recovered

But tonight I betcha that what you're

'Bout to go through’s tougher than anything I ever have suffered

Can’t think of a better way to define poetic justice

Can I hold grudges, mind saying, "Let it go, fuck this"

Heart's saying: "I will, once I bury this bitch alive

Hide the shovel and then drive off in the sunset"

 

[Hook: Sarah Jaffe]

I flee the scene like it was my last ride

You see right through, oh you had me pegged the first time

You can see the truth but it's easier to justify

What's bad is good

And I hate to be the bad guy

I just hate to be the bad guy

(Follow me I ruh-uh-un, follow me I ruh-uh-un)

I just hate to be the bad guy

(Follow me I ruh-uh-un, follow me I ruh-uh-un)

 

[Verse 2]

And to think, I used to think you was the shit, bitch

To think it was you at one time I worshiped, shit

Think you can hurt people and just keep getting away with it

Not this time, you better go and get the sewing kit, bitch

Finish this stitch so you can reap what you sew, knit wit

Thought some time would pass and I'd forget it? Forget it

You left our family in shambles

And you expect me to just get over him, pretend he never existed?

May be gone, but he's not forgotten

And don't think cause he's been out the pictures

So long that I've stopped the plotting and still ain't coming to getcha

You're wrong and that shit was rotten

And the way you played him, same shit you did to

Me, cold, have you any idea the

Shit that I've gone through?

Feelings I harbor, all this pent up resentment I hold on to

Not once you call to ask me how I'm doing

Letters, you don't respond to 'em

Fuck it, I'm coming to see you

And gee who better to talk to than you, the cause of my problems

My life is garbage and I'm 'bout to take it out on you

Poof, then I'm gone, voosh

And...

 

[Hook]

 

[Verse 3]

I've been driving around your side of this town

Like nine frickin' hours and forty-five minutes now

Finally I found your new address, park in your drive

Feel like I've been waiting on this moment all of my life

And it's now arrived, and my mouth is full of saliva

My knife is out and I'm ducking on the side of your house

See, it's sad it came to this point

Such a disappointment I had to make this appointment to come and see ya

But I ain't here for your empathy

I don't need your apology, or your friendship or sympathy

It's revenge that I seek

So I sneak vengefully and treat your bedroom window

Like I reach my full potential, I peeked

Continue to peep, still bent low, then keep

Tapping the glass lightly then start to crescendo, sneak

All the way 'round to the back porch, man

Door handles unlocked

Shouldn't be that easy to do this

You don't plan for intruders beforehand

Surprised to see me? Cat got your tongue?

Gag, chloroform rag

Dag, almost hack-up a lung, like you picked an axe up and swung, stick to the core plan

Dragged to the back of a trunk by one of your fans

Irony's spectacular, huh?

Now who's a faggot, you punk

And here's your Bronco hat; you can have that shit back cause they suck

It's just me, you and the music now, Slim, I hope you hear it

We're in a car right now, wait, here comes my favorite lyric

"I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die"

And hey, here's a sequel to my Mathers LP just to try to get people to buy

How's this for publicity stunt, this should be fun

Last album now, cause after this you'll be officially done

Eminem killed by M and M, Matthew Mitchell

Bitch, I even have your initials

I initially was gonna bury you next to my brother but fuck it

Since you're in love with your city so much

I figured, what the fuck the best place you could be buried alive is right here

Two more exits, time is quite near

Hope we don't get stopped, no license I fear

That sirens I hear

Guess 90 on the freeway wasn't the brightest idea

As cops appear in my driver's side mirror

(Oh, God, police aaaghh)

Hope Foxtrot gets an aerial shot of your burial plot, at least

New plan Stan, Slim "chauvinist pig drove in this big Lincoln Town Car"

Well gotta go, almost at the bridge

Ha ha big bro it's for you, Slim, this is for him

And Frank Ocean; oh, hope you can swim good

Now say you hate homos again

 

[Part 2: Produced by StreetRunner]

 

[Verse 4]

I also represent anyone on the receiving end of those jokes you offend

I'm the nightmare you fell asleep and then woke up still in

I'm your karma closing in with each stroke of a pen

Perfect time to have some remorse to show for your sin

Nope, it's hopeless, I'm the denial that you're hopelessly in

When they say all of this is approaching its end

But you refuse to believe that it's over, here we go all over again

Back's to the wall, I’m stacking up all them odds

Toilets clogged, yeah cause I’m talking a lot of shit but I’m backing it all up

But in my head there’s a voice in the back and it hollers after the track is demolished

"I am your lack of a conscience"

I'm the ringing in your ears, I’m the polyps on the back of your tonsils

Eating your vocal chords after your concerts

I’m your time that’s almost up that you haven’t acknowledged

Grab for some water but I’m that pill that’s too jagged to swallow

I’m the bullies you hate, that you became with every faggot you slaughtered

Coming back on you, every woman you insult, batter but the double-standards you have when it comes to your daughters

I represent everything, you take for granted

‘Cause Marshall Mathers the rapper’s persona's half a facade

And Matthew and Stan’s just symbolic

Of you not knowing what you had 'till it’s gone

‘Cause after all the glitz and the glam

No more fans that are calling your name, cameras are off

Sad, but it happens to all of them

I’m the hindsight to say, “I told you so”

Foreshadows of all the things that are to follow

I’m the future that’s here to show you what happens tomorrow

If you don’t stop after they call ya

Biggest laughing stock of rap who can’t call it quits

When it’s time to walk away, I’m every guilt trip

The baggage you have, but as you gather up all your

Possessions, if there's anything you have left to say, unless it makes an impact, then don’t bother

So 'fore you rest your case, better make sure you’re packing a wallop

So one last time, I’m back, before it fades into black and it’s all

Over, behold the final chapter in a saga

Trying to recapture that lightning trapped in a bottle

Twice, the magic that started

It all, tragic portrait of an artist tortured trapped in his own drawings

Tap into thoughts blacker and darker

Than anything imaginable, here goes a wild stab in the dark, uh

As we (I) pick up where the last Mathers left off

2. PARKING LOT (SKIT)

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[Teller]

Don't kill me!  

 

[Eminem]

Hurry the fuck up! *shoots the teller* Thank you! *running* Go, go, go! What the..fuck? The fuck he go? Mothafucka bail on me? Fuck you! *car stops working* Aw, you gotta be fucking kidding me! Are you fucking kidding me? Shit! *running* Get off! *shoots a dog* Ha-ha *sound of sirens* Parking lot! Shit, ah!  

 

[Officer]

Let me see your hands, bend over!  

 

[Eminem]

Ah, fuck it! *shoots himself*

3. RHYME OR REASON

[Intro]

(What's your name?) Marshall

(Who's your daddy?) I don't have one

 

[Verse 1]

My mother reproduced like the komodo dragon

And had me on the back of a motorcycle, then crashed in

The side of loco-motive with rap, I'm

Loco, it's like handing a psycho a loaded handgun

Michelangelo with a paint gun in a tantrum

'Bout to explode all over the canvas

Back with the Yoda of rap, "In a spasm

Your music usually has 'em

But waned for the game your enthusiasm it hasn't

Follow you must, Rick Rubin my little Padawan"

A Jedi in training, colossal brain and, thoughts are entertainin'

But docile and impossible to explain and, I'm also vain and

Probably find a way to complain about a Picasso painting

Puke Skywalker, but sound like Chewbacca when I talk

Full of such blind rage I need a seein' eye dog

Can't even find the page I was writing this rhyme on

Oh it's on the ram-page, couldn't see what I wrote I write small

It says, "Ever since I drove a '79 Lincoln with whitewall, had a fire in my heart

And a dire desire to aspire to Die Hard"

So as long as I'm on the clock punching this time card

Hip-hop ain't dying on my watch

 

[Hook]

Now sometimes, when I'm sleepin'

She comes to me in my dreams

Is she taken? Is she mine?

Don't got time, don't care, don't have two shits to give

Let me take you by the hand to, promised land

And threaten everyone

Cause there's no rhyme or no reason for nothing

 

[Bridge]

Now

(What's your name?) Marshall

(Who's your daddy?) I don’t know him, but I wonder

(Is he rich like me?) Ha

(Has he taken, any time, to show you what you need to live?)

 

[Verse 2]

No, if he had

He wouldn't have ended up in these rhymes on my pad

I wouldn't be so mad, my attitude wouldn't be so bad

Yeah Dad

I'm the epitome and the prime

Example of what happens when the power of the rhyme

Falls into the wrong hands, and

Makes you want to get up and start dancin'

Even if it is Charles Manson

Who just happens, to be rapping, blue lights flashing

Laughing all the way to the bank, lamping in my K-Mart mansion

I’m in the style department

With a pile in my cart, ripping the aisle apart but

With great power comes absolutely no responsibility for content

Completely, despondent and condescending

The king of nonsense and controversy is on a beat killing spree

Your honor, I must plead guilty, cause I sparked a revolution

Rebel without a cause who caused the evolution

Of rap, to take it to the next level, boost it

But several rebuked it, and whoever produced it

("Hip-hop is the devil's music") Does that mean it belongs to me?

Cause I just happen to be, a white honky devil with two horns

That don't honk but every time I speak you hear a beep

But, lyrically, I never hear a peep, not even a whisper

Rappers better stay clear of me, bitch, cause it's the...

 

[Hook]

It's the time of the season, when hate runs high

And this time, I won't give it to you easy

When I take back what's mine with pleasured hands

And torture everyone, that is my plan

My job here isn't done

Cause there's no rhyme or no reason for nothing

 

[Bridge]

(What's your name?) Shady

(Who's your daddy?) I don’t give a fuck, but I wonder

(Is he rich like me?) Doubt it, ha

(Has he taken, any time, to show you what you need to live?)

 

[Verse 3]

So yeah, Dad, let's walk

Let's have us a father and son talk

But I bet we wouldn't probably get one block

Without me knocking your block off, this is all your fault

Maybe that's why I'm so bananas, I a-ppealed to all those walks

Of life, whoever had strife

Maybe that's what dad and son talks are like

Cause I, related to the struggles of young America

When their fucking parents were unaware of their troubles

Now they're ripping out their fucking hair again, it's hysterical

I chuckle, as everybody bloodies their bare knuckles

Yeah uh-oh, better beware knuckle heads

The sign of my hustle says "Don't knock, the doors broken, it won't lock

It might just fly open, get cold-cocked

You critics come to pay me a visit?

Misery loves company, please stay a minute

Kryptonite to a hypocrite, zip your lip if you dish it but can't take it

Too busy getting stoned in your glass house, to kick rocks

Then you wonder why I lash out

Mr. Mathers as advertised on the flyers, so spread the word

Cause I'm promoting my passion until I'm passed out

Completely brain dead, Rain Man

Doing a Bankhead in a restraint chair

So, bitch, shoot me a look, it better be a blank stare

Or get shanked in the pancreas

I'm angrier than all eight other reindeer put together with Chief Keef

Cause I hate every fucking thing, yeah

Even this rhyme, bitch

And quit trying look for a fucking reason for it that ain't there

But I still am a "Criminal!"

Ten-year-old degenerate grabbing on my genitals!

The last Mathers LP done went diamond

This time I'm predicting this one will go emerald!

When will the madness end, how can it when

There's no method to the pad and pen

The only message that I have to send is, Dad

I'm back at it again

 

Yeah... (Who's your daddy?)

4. SO MUCH BETTER

[Intro]

You fucking groupie Pick up the goddamn phone

 

[Verse 1]

Bitch, where the fuck were you Tuesday? With who you say? I wasn't at the studio, bitch, what'cha do? Screw Dre? You went there looking for me? Boo, that excuse is too lame Keep playing me you're gonna end up with a huge goose egg You fake, lying slut you never told me you knew Drake And Lupe? You want to lose two legs? You trying to flip this on me? If I spent more time with you, you say "Okay, yeah and I'm coo-coo, ay?" Well, screw you, and I’d be the third person who screwed you today Oh, four; Dre, Drake, Lupe -- oohm touché You were too two-faced for me, thought you was my number one, true-blue ace But you ain't And I can't see you when you make that wittle boo-boo face Cause I'm hanging up this phone, boo You make my fucking blue tooth ache You're feeling blue? Too late Go smurf yourself, you make me wanna smurf and puke blue Kool Aid Here's what you say to someone you hate 

 

[Hook]

My life would be so much better if you'd just drop dead I was laying in bed last night thinking and this thought just popped in my head And I thought, wouldn't shit just be a lot easier if you dropped dead I would feel so much better

 

 

[Verse 2]

Think I just relapsed, this bitch pushed me over the brink Hop on the freeway trying to get some time alone and just think 'Til the cops pulled me over, but they let me go cause I told 'em I'm only driving drunk, cause that bitch drove me to drink I'm back on my fuck hoes, with a whole new hatred for blondes But bias? I hate all bitches the same, baby come on Excuse the pun, but bitch is such a broad statement, and I'm Channeling my anger through every single station that's on Cause a woman broke my he-art, I say he-art Cause she ripped it in two pa-arts, and threw it in the garbage Who do you think you a-are, bitch? Guess it's time for me to get the dust off and pick myself up off the carpet But I'll never say the L-word again Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo... lesbian Aaahhh, I hope you hear this song and go into a cardiac arrest My life'd be so much better if you just

 

[Hook]

 

[Bridge]

Cause you told me, you love me, forever, bitch, that was a lie Now I never, wanted someone, to die, so bad in my fucking life But fuck it, there’s other fish in the sea

 

[Verse 3]

And I'mma have a whale of a time being a single sailor For the night, bitch on a scale of 1 to 10, shit, I must be the holy grail of Catches ho, I got an Oscar attached to my fucking name (Dayla) I might hit the club, find a chick that's tailor Made for me, say fuck it, kick some shots back, get hammered and nail her These bitches trying to get attached, but they're failing to latch onto the tail of My bumper they're scratching at the back of my trailer Like I'm itching to get hitched Yeah, I'm rich as a bitch But bitches ain't shit, I'd rather leave a bitch in a ditch Bitch you complain when you listen to this But you still throw yourself at me, that's what I call pitchin' a bitch That's why I'm swinging at this chicks on-site Long as I got a bat and two balls it's foul, but my dick's on strike So all that love shit is null and void, bitch I'm a droid I avoid Cupid, stupid wasn't for blow jobs, you'd be unemployed Oye-yoy-yoy, man oh man, your boy-boy-boy's getting sick of these girls-girls-girls, oink-oink-oink You fuckin' pigs, all you're good for is doink-doink-doink I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one She's all 99 of 'em; I need a machine gun I'll take 'em all out, I hope you hear this song and go into a cardiac arrest Have a heart attack and just Drop dead and I'mma throw a fucking party after this Cause yes

 

[Hook]

 

[Outro]

I'm just playing bitch, you know I love you

5. SURVIVAL

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[Hook: Liz Rodrigues]

This is survival of the fittest

This is do or die

This is the winner takes it all

So take it all a-all a-all a-all

 

[Verse 1]

Wasn't ready to be no millionaire, I was ill-prepared

I was prepared to be ill though, the skill was there

From the beginning, it wasn't 'bout the ends

It was 'bout busting raps and standing for something – fuckin' acronym

Cut the fucking act like you're happy, I'm fucking back again

With another anthem, why stop when it doesn't have to end

It ain't over 'til I say it's over – enough when I say enough

Throw me to them wolves and close the gate up, I'm afraid of what

Will happen to them wolves when the thought of being thrown into an alligator pit, I salivate at it, wait is up

Hands up like it's 12 noon, nah homie, hold them bitches straighter up

Wave 'em 'til you dislocate a rotator cuff

Came up rough, came to ruffle feathers, nah, egos

I ain't deflate enough

Last chance to make this whole stadium erupt cause

 

[Hook]

 

[Verse 2]

I can see the finish line with each line that I finish, I'm so close

To my goals I can almost pole vault over the goal post

And if I don't got enough in the tank, maybe I can just siphon enough

To fill up this last can, man will I survive in this climate or what?

They said I was washed up, and got a blood bath, I'm not a rapper, I'm an adapter - I can adjust

Plus, I can just walk up to a mic and just bust

So, floor's open if you'd like to discuss

Top 5 in this motherfucka and if I don't make the cut, what? Like I give a fuck

But I light this bitch up like I'm driving a truck

Through the side of a pump

0 to 60 hop in and gun it like G-Unit without the hyphen, I'm hyping 'em up

And if there should ever come a time where my life's in a rut

And I look like I might just give up, might've mistook

Me for bowing out I ain't taking a bow, I'm stabbing myself with a fucking knife in the gut, while I'm wiping my butt

Cause I just shitted on the mic, and I like getting cut

I get excited at the sight of my blood, you're in a fight with a nut

Cause I'mma fight 'til I die or win, biting the dust

It'll just make me angrier, wait, let me remind you of what

Got me this far, picture me quitting, now draw a circle around it and put a line through it, slut

It's survival of what?

 

[Hook]

 

[Verse 3]

So get your ideas, stack your ammo

But don't come unless you come to battle, now mount up, jump in the saddle

This is it - it's what you eat, sleep, piss and shit

Live, breathe, your whole existence just consists of this

Refuse to quit, fuse is lit, can't defuse the wick

If I don't do this music shit, I'll lose my shit

Ain't got shit to lose, it's the moment of truth, it's all I know how to do, as soon as I get thrown in a booth, I spit

But my respect is overdue, I'm showing you the flow no one do, cause I don't own no diploma for school, I quit

So there's nothing for me to fall back on, I know no other trade, so you'd better trade your fucking mics in for some tool-box-es

Cause you'll never take my pride from me, it'll have to be pried from me, so pull out your pliers and your screwdrivers

But I want you to doubt me, I don't want you to buh-lieve

Cause this is something that I must use to succeed

And if you don't like me then fuck you, self esteem

Must be fucking shooting through-the-roof cause trust me

My skin is too thick and bullet proof to touch me

I can see why the fuck I disgust you, I must be allergic to failure, cause every time I come close to it, I just sneeze

But I just go atchoo then A-chieve!

 

[Hook]

6. LEGACY

[Intro: Polina]

Tell me where to go, tell me what to do, I’ll be right there for you

Tell me what to say, don’t matter if it’s true, I’ll say it all for you

 

[Verse 1]

I used to be the type of kid that would always think the sky is fallin'

Why am I so differently wired? Am I a martian?

What kind of twisted experiment am I involved in?

Cause I don't belong in this world, that’s why I'm scoffin' at authority, defiant often flyin' off at

The handle at my mom, no dad, so I am non-com-

Pliant at home, at school, I’m just shy and awkward

And I don’t need no goddamn psychologist

Trying to diagnose why I have all these underlying problems

Thinking he can try and solve 'em, I’m outside chalking

Up drawings on the sidewalk and in the front drive talking

To myself, either that or inside hiding off in

The corner somewhere quiet, trying not to be noticed cause I’m crying and sobbin'

I had a bad day at school so I ain't talkin'

Some cocksucker shoved me into a fucking locker cause he said that I eye-balled him

 

[Bridge: Polina]

And if you fall, I'll catch you there

I’ll be your savior from all the wars

That are fought inside your world

Please have faith in my words

 

[Hook: Polina]

Cause this is my legacy (legacy)

This is my legacy (legacy)

There's no guarantee

It’s not up to me

You can only see

This is my legacy (legacy)

 

[Verse 2]

I used to be the type of kid that would always think the sky is fallin'

Why am I so differently wired in my noggin?

Cause sporadic as my thoughts come, it's mind bogglin'

Cause I obsess on everything in my mind, small shit

Bothers me, but not my father, he said sayonara, then split

But I don’t give a shit, I’m fine long as

There's batteries in my Walkman

Nothing is the matter with me, shit look on the bright side at least I ain’t walkin'

I bike ride through the neighborhood of my apartment

Complex on a ten-speed which I've acquired parts that

I find in the garbage, a frame then put tires on it

Headphones on, look straight ahead if kids try and start shit

But if this is all there is for me, life offers

Why bother even trying to put up a fight? It's nonsense

But I think a light bulb just lit up in my conscience

What about them rhymes I've been jottin', they are kind of giving me confidence

Instead of trying to escape through my comics

Why don't I just blast a little something, like Onyx

To put me in the mood to wanna fight and write songs that

Say what I want to say to the kid that said that I eyeballed him

Grab hold of my balls like that's right, fight's on bitch

Who woulda' knew from the moment I turned the mic on that

I could be iconic, in my conquest

That's word to Phife Dog from a Tribe Called Quest

 

[Hook]

 

[Verse 3]

I used to be the type of kid that would always think the sky is fallin'

Now I think the fact that I'm differently wired's awesome

Cause if I wasn't, I wouldn't be able to work words like this and connect lines like crosswords

And use my enemy's words as strength to try and draw from, and get inspired off 'em

Cause all my life I was told and taught I am not shit

By you wack fucking giant sacks of lying dog shit

Now you shut up bitch, I am talkin'

Thought I was full of horseshit and now you fucking worship the ground on which I am walkin'

Me against the world so what, I'm Brian Dawkins

Versus the whole 0-16 Lions offense

So bring on the Giants, Falcons and Miami Dolphins

It's the body bag game, bitch, I'm supplying coffins

Cause you dicks butt kiss, bunch of Brian Balding-

Ers, you're going to die a ball licker, I've been diabolic-

Al with this dialogue since '99 Rawkus

You don't respect the legacy I leave behind y'all can

Suck a dick, the day you beat me, pigs'll fly out my ass in a flying saucer full of Italian sausage

The most high exalting and I ain't haltin'

Till I die of exhaustion inhale my exhaust fumes

The best part about me is I am not

You, I'm me, I'm the Fire Marshall

And this is my

 

[Hook]

7. BERZERK

[Verse 1]

Now this shit's about to kick off, this party looks wack

Let's take it back to straight hip-hop and start it from scratch

I'm 'bout to bloody this track up, everybody get back

That's why my pen needs a pad cause my rhymes on the ra-ag

Just like I did with addiction I'm 'bout to kick it

Like a magician, critics I turn to crickets

Got 'em still on the fence whether to picket

But quick to get it impaled when I tell 'em stick it

So sick I'm looking pale, wait that's my pigment

Bout to go ham, ya bish, shout out to Kendrick

Let's bring it back to that vintage Slim, bitch!

The art of MCing mixed with da Vinci and MC Ren

And I don't mean Stimpy's friend, bitch

Been Public Enemy since you thought PE was gym, bitch

 

[Bridge]

Kick your shoes off, let your hair down

(And go berserk) all night long

Grow your beard out, just weird out

(And go berserk) all night long

 

[Hook]

We're gonna rock this house until we knock it down, so turn the volume loud Cause it's mayhem 'til the a.m

So baby make just like K-Fed and let yourself go, let yourself go

Say fuck it, before we kick the bucket

Life's too short to not go for broke

So everybody, everybody (go berserk) Grab your vial, yeah

 

[Verse 2]

Guess it's just the way that I'm dressed, ain't it

Khakis pressed, Nike shoes crispy and fresh laced, so I guess it ain't

That aftershave or cologne that made 'em just faint

Plus I showed up with a coat fresher than wet paint

So if love is a chess game, check mate

But girl, your body's banging, jump me in, dang, bang-bang

Yes siree 'Bob', I was thinking the same thang

So come get on this Kid's rock, baw with da baw, dang-dang

Pow-p-p-p-pow, chica, pow, chica, wow-wow

Got your gal blowing up a valve, valve-valve

Ain't slowing down, throw in the towel, towel-towel

Dumb it down, I don't know how, huh-huh, how-how

At least I know that I don't know

Question is are you bozos smart enough to feel stupid? Hope so

Now ho...

 

[Bridge]

 

[Hook 2]

We're gonna rock this house until we knock it down

So turn the volume loud, cause it's mayhem 'til the a.m

So crank the bass up like crazy and let yourself go, let yourself go

I say fuck it before we kick the bucket

Life's too short to not go for broke

So everybody, everybody (go berzerk) Get your vinyls

 

[Scratch]

 

[Verse 3]

They say that love is powerful as cough syrup in styrofoam

All I know is I fell asleep and woke up in that Monte Carlo

With the ugly Kardashian Lamar, oh

Sorry yo, we done both set the bar low

Far as hard drugs are though

That's the past, but I done did enough codeine to knock Future into tomorrow

And girl, I ain't got no money to borrow

But I am trying to find a way to get you a-loan (car note)

Oh, Marshall Mathers, shithead with a potty mouth, get the bar of soap

Lathered Kangol's and Carheartless Cargos

Girl, you're fixing to get your heart broke

Don't be absurd, ma'am, you birdbrain baby, I ain't called anybody baby since Birdman, unless you're a swallow

Word Rick, word man you heard, but don't get discouraged girl, this is your jam

Unless you got toe jam

 

[Bridge + Hook]

8. ASSHOLE FT. SKYLAR GREY

[Verse 1]

Came to the world at a time when it was in need of a villain

An asshole, that role; think I succeed in fulfilling

But don't think I ever stopped to think that I was speaking to children

Everything was happening so fast, it was like I blinked – sold three million

Then it all went blank, all I remember is feelin' ridiculous cause I was getting sick of this feelin'

Like I am always under attack, man, I could have stacked my shit list to the ceiling

Women dishing him but really thinking if anyone ever talks to one of my little girls like this I would kill him

Guess I'm a little bit of a hypocrite when I'm rippin' shit

But since when did this many

People ever give a shit what I had to say, it's just my opinion

If it contradicts how I'm living, put a dick in your rear end

That's why every time you mentioned a lyric, I thanked you for it

For drawing more attention toward it

Cause it gave me an enormous platform, I'm flattered you thought I was that important

But you can't ignore the fact that I fought for the respect and battle for it

Mad awards, had GLAAD annoyed atta-boy

They told me to slow down, and I just zone out

Good luck trying to convince a blonde, it's like telling Gwen Stefan(i) that she sold out

Cause I was trying to leave, No Doubt

In anyone's mind one day I'd go down in history think they know now

Cause everybody knows

 

[Hook: Skylar Grey]

Everybody knows that you're just an asshole

Everywhere that you go, people wanna go, "oh everyone knows"

Everybody knows, so don't pretend to be nice

There's no place you can hide

You are just an asshole

Everyone knows, everyone knows

 

[Bridge]

Thanks for the support, asshole *scratch*

Thanks for the support, asshole

 

[Verse 2]

Quit actin' salty, I was countin' on you to count me out

Ask Asher Roth when he round about dissed me to shout me out

Thought I was history, but goddamn honky, that compliment's like backhanding a donkey, good way to get your ass socked in the mouth

Nah, I'm off him, but what the fuck is all this thrash talking about?

The fight was fixed, I'm back and you can't stop me, you knocked me down

I went down for the count, I fell, but the fans caught me and now

You're gonna have to beat the fucking pants off me to take my belt

Word to Pacquiao, momma said there ain't nothing else to talk about

Better go in that ring and knock 'em out, or you better not come out

It's poetry in motion, like Freddie Roach when he's quoting

Shakespeare, so what if the insults are revolting

Even Helen Keller knows life stinks

You think it's a joke 'til you're bullet riddled, but you should give little shit what I think

This whole world is a mess, gotta have a goddamn

Vest on your chest and a Glock just to go watch Batman

Who needs to test a testicles? Not that man

Half of you don't got the guts and intestinal blockage, rest of you got lap bands

Stuck to this motto before they put bath salts and all those water bottles in Colorado

So get lost, Waldo, my soul's escaping through this asshole that is gaping

A black hole and I'm swallowing this track whole better pack toilet paper

But I'm not taking no crap, ho, here I go down the Bat Pole

And I'm changing back into that old maniac in fact there they go

Trying to dip out the back door retreating

Cause everybody knows

 

[Hook]

 

[Verse 3]

Holy mackerel, I'm the biggest jerk on the planet Earth, I smacked a girl

Off the mechanical bull at a tractor pull

For thinking we had some magnetic pull

Then screamed "ICP in this bitch! How do fucking magnets work?"

Cause you're attractive, but we ain't attractable

Hate to be dramatical, but I'm not romantical

I'm making up words you can understandable

It's tragical

Thinking some magical shit's gonna happen? That ain't practical

You cracking a joke, it's laughable

Cause me and love's like a bad combination, I keep them feelings locked in a vault so it's safe to say I'm uncrackable

My heart is truly guarded

Full body armor, bitch, you just need a helmet cause if you think you're special, you're retarded

Thinking you're one of a kind, like you got some platinum vagina

You're a train wreck, I got a one-track mind; shorty, you're fine but you sort of remind me of a 49er

Cause you been a gold digger since you was a minor

Been tryna hunt me down like a dog, cause you're on my ass but you can't get a scent

Cause all of my spare time is spent

On my nose in this binder, so don't bother tryin'

Only women that I love are my daughters, but sometimes I rhyme

And it sounds like I forget I'm a father, and I push it farther, so Father forgive me if I forget to draw the line

It's apparent I shouldn't have been a parent, I'll never grow up, so to hell with your parents And 'mother' fucking 'father' time

It ain't never gonna stop, a pessimist who transformed to an optimist in his prime

So even if I'm half dead, I'm half alive

Poured my half empty glass in a cup, so now my cup has runneth over

And I'm bout to set it on you like a muthafucking coaster

I’m going back to what got me here, yeah cocky, and

Can’t knock being rude off, so fear not my dear

And dry up your teardrops I'm here

White America's mirror, so don't feel awkward or weird

If you stare at me and see yourself, because you're one too, shouldn't be a shock, be-

-Cause everybody knows

9. RAP GOD

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[Intro]

Look, I was gonna go easy on you not to hurt your feelings

But I'm only going to get this one chance

Something's wrong, I can feel it (For six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)

Just a feeling I've got, like something's about to happen

But I don't know what if that means what I think it means

We're in trouble, big trouble

And if he is as bananas as you say, I'm not taking any chances

(You are just what the doc ordered)

 

 

[Verse 1]

I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God

All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod

Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slapbox, slapbox

They said I rap like a robot, so call me rapbot

But for me to rap like a computer must be in my genes, I got a laptop in my back pocket

My pen'll go off when I half-cock it, got a fat knot from that rap profit

Made a living and a killing off it

Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office

With Monica Lewinsky feeling on his (nut-sack), I'm an MC still as honest

But as rude and as indecent as all hell, syllables, skill-a-holic

(Kill em all with)this flippity dippity-hippity hip-hop, you don't really wanna get into a pissin’ match wit’ this rappity-rap

Packin’ a MAC in the back of the Ac, backpack rap crap, yap-yap yackety-yack

And at the exact same time, I attempt these lyrical acrobat stunts while I'm practicin' that

I'll still be able to break a mothafucking table over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half

Only realized it was ironic I was signed to Aftermath after the fact

How could I not blow, all I do is drop F-bombs, feel my wrath of attack

Rappers are having a rough time period, here's a maxi pad

It's actually disastrously bad for the wack while I'm masterfully constructing this master piece (yeah) cuz'

 

 

[Verse 2]

I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God

All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod

Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slapbox, slapbox

Let me show you maintaining this shit ain't that hard, that hard

Everybody want the key and the secret to rap immortality like I have got

Well, to be truthful the blueprint's simply rage and youthful exuberance

Everybody loves to root for a nuisance, hit the earth like an asteroid, did nothing but shoot for the moon since

MC's get taken to school with this music cause I use it

As a vehicle to 'bus the rhyme' now I lead a new school full of students

Me, I'm a product of Rakim, Lakim Shabazz, 2Pac, N-

W.A, Cube, Hey Doc, Ren Yella, Eazy, thank you, they got Slim

Inspired enough to one day grow up, blow up and be in a position

To meet Run DMC, and induct them into the motherfuckin' Rock n'-

Roll Hall of Fame

Even though I'll walk in the church and burst in a ball of flames

Only Hall of Fame I'll be inducted in is the alcohol of fame on the wall of (shame)

You fags think it's all a game, 'til I walk a flock of flames

Off a plank and, tell me what in the fuck are you thinking

Little gay lookin' boy

So gay I can barely say it with a straight face looking, boy

You're witnessing a massacre like you're watching a church gathering take place, looking boy

Oy vey, that boy's gay, that's all they say looking, boy

You get a thumbs up, pat on the back

And a "way to go" from your label everyday looking, boy

Hey, lookin' boy, what you say looking boy

I get a "hell yeah" from Dre looking, boy

I'ma work for everything I have, never ask nobody for shit, get outta my face looking boy

Basically, boy, you're never gonna be capable of keeping up with the same pace looking, boy cause

 

 

[Verse 3]

I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God

All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod

The way I'm racing around the track, call me Nascar, Nascar

Dale Earnhardt of the trailer park, the White Trash God

Kneel before General Zod this planet's Krypton, no Asgard, Asgard

So you be Thor and I'll be Odin, you rodent, I'm omnipotent

Let off then I'm reloading immediately with these bombs I'm toting

And I should not be woken, I'm the walking dead, but I'm just a talking head, a zombie floating

But I got your mom deep throating

I'm out my Ramen Noodle, we have nothing in common, poodle

I'm a doberman, pinch yourself in the arm and pay homage, pupil

It's me, my honesty's brutal

But it's honestly futile if I don't utilize what I do though

For good at least once in a while, so I wanna make sure somewhere in this chicken scratch I scribble and doodle

Enough rhymes to maybe try to help get some people through tough times

But I gotta keep a few punchlines just in case cause even you unsigned

Rappers are hungry looking at me like it's lunchtime

I know there was a time where once I

Was king of the underground, but I still rap like I'm on my Pharoahe Monch grind

So I crunch rhymes, but sometimes when you combine

Appeal with the skin color of mine, you get too big and here they come tryin'

To censor you like that one line I said on "I'm Back" from the Mathers LP 1 when I tried to say I'll take seven kids from Columbine

Put 'em all in a line, add an AK-47, a revolver and a nine

See if I get away with it now that I ain't as big as I was, but I'm

Morphing into an immortal coming through the portal

You're stuck in a time warp from 2004, though

And I don't know what the fuck that you rhyme for, you're pointless as Rapunzel with fucking cornrows

You write normal, fuck being normal

And I just bought a new ray gun from the future just to come and shoot ya like when Fabolous made Ray J mad

Cause Fab said he looked like a fag at Mayweather’s pad

Singing to a man while they played piano

Man oh man, that was a 24/7 special on the cable channel

So Ray J went straight to the radio station the very next day, "Hey Fab

I'ma kill you!" lyrics coming at you at supersonic speed (J.J. Fad)

Uh, summa-lumma, dooma-lumma, you assuming I'm a human, what I gotta do to get it through to you? I'm superhuman

Innovative and I'm made of rubber so that anything you say is ricocheting off of me and it'll glue to you and

I'm devastating, more than ever demonstrating, how to give a mothafucking audience a feeling like it's levitating

Never fading, and I know the haters are forever waiting

For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating

Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated, I make elevating music, you make elevator music

"Oh, he's too mainstream," well, that's what they do when they get jealous, they confuse it

It's not hip-hop, it's pop, cause I found a hella way to fuse it

With rock, shock rap with Doc, throw on "Lose Yourself" and make 'em lose it

"I don't know how to make songs like that, I don't know what words to use"

Let me know when it occurs to you while I’m ripping any one of these verses, that versus you

It’s curtains, I’m inadvertently hurtin' you, how many verses I gotta murder to

Prove that if you were half as nice, your songs you could sacrifice virgins too

Unghh, school flunky, pill junky

But look at the accolades these skills brung me, full of myself, but still hungry

I bully myself cause I make me do what I put my mind to, and I'm a million leagues above you

Ill when I speak in tongues, but it's still tongue in cheek, fuck you

I'm drunk so Satan take the fucking wheel, I'm asleep in the front seat

Bumping Heavy D and the Boyz "Still chunky but funky"

But in my head there's something I can feel tugging and struggling

Angels fight with devils and here's what they want from me

They're asking me to eliminate some of the women hate, but if you take into consideration the bitter hatred

I had Then you may be a little patient and more sympathetic to the situation and understand the discrimination

But fuck it, life's handing you lemons, make lemonade then

But if I can't batter the women, how the fuck am I supposed to bake them a cake then?

Don't mistake him for Satan

It's a fatal mistake if you think I need to be overseas and take a vacation

To trip abroad and make her fall on her face and

Don't be a retard, be a king? Think not

Why be a king when you can be a god?

10. BRAINLESS

[Intro]

Eminem has a full line of chainsaws

Eminem, Eminem, Eminem, Eminem

Marshall Mathers, Eminem... the rapper Eminem

 

"Who can say for sure? Perhaps a frontal lobotomy would be the answer

If science could operate on this distorted brain and put it to good use

Society would reap a great benefit."

 

[Verse 1]

I walk around like a space cadet, place your bets

Who's likely to become a serial killer, case of Tourettes

Fuck, fuck-fuck, can't take the stress

I make a mess as the day progresses

Angry and take it out on the neighbors hedges

Like this is how I'll cut your face up bitches

With these hedge trimming scissors with razor edges

Imagination's dangerous, it's

The only way to escape this mess and make the best of this situation I guess

Cause I feel like a little bitch, this predicament's

Despicable, I'm sick of just gettin' pushed, it's ridiculous

I look like a freakin' wuss, a pussy, this kid just took

My stick of licorice and threw my sticker books in a pricker bush

I wanna kick his tush, but I was six and shook

This fucker was twelve and was six foot, with a vicious hook

He hit me, I fell; I got back up, all I did was book

Now there's using your head

Momma always said

 

[Hook]

If you had a brain, you'd be dangerous - a brain, you'd be dangerous

I'ma prove you wrong

Momma, I'mma grow one day to be famous, and I'mma be a pain in the anus

I'ma be the bomb

I'ma use my head as a weapon, find a way to escape this insaneness

Momma always said, "Son, if you had a brain, you'd be dangerous"

Guess it pays to be brainless

 

[Verse 2]

Fast forward some years later, a teenager; this is fun, sweet

I just got jumped twice in one week, it's complete

It's usually once a month, this is some feat

I've accomplished, they've stomped me into the mud, gee for what reason, you stumped me

But how do you get the shit beat out of you, beat down and be upbeat when you don't have nothing?

No valid shot at life, chance to make it or succeed

Cause you're doomed from the start, it's like you grew up on Jump Street, from jump street

But if I could just get my head out my ass

I could accomplish any task

Practicing trash talkin'

In a trance locked in my room, yeah, but I got some plans, Momma

These damn rhymes are falling out of my pants pocket, I can't stop it

And I'm starting to blend in more

In school this shit helps for sure

I'm getting more self-assured than I've ever been before

Plus no one picks on me anymore, I done put a stop to that, threw my first punch - end of story

Still in my skull is a vacant empty void, been using it more as a bin for storage

Take some inventory

In this gourd there's a Ford engine, door hinge, syringe, an orange, an extension cord, and a Ninja sword, not to mention four linchpins an astringent stored

Ironing board, a bench, a wrench an oru winch, an attention whore

Everything but a brain, but dome's off the fucking chain like an independent store

Something's wrong with my head

Just think if I had a brain in it, thank God that I don't, cause I'd probably be Dahmer, cause Momma always said

 

[Hook]

 

[Bridge]

Now my Mom goes wahm-wahm-wahm

Cause I'm not that smart, but I'm not dumb

I was on a bottom of the pile getting stomped

But somehow, I came out on top

 

[Verse 3]

I told you one day, I said they'd have that red carpet rolled out, yo

I'm nice, yo, fuck it, I'm out cold

Now everywhere I go they scream out go, I'm 'bout to clean house, yo

I'm Lysol, now I'm just household

Outsold the sell-outs, freak the hell out Middle America, hear 'em yell out in terror they were so scared and those kids

Just about, belted out whatever spouted or fell out of my smart aleck mouth, it was so weird

Inappropriate, so be it, I don't see it

Maybe one day when the smoke clears, it won't be as

Mothafucking difficult, ch-yeah, 'til then, hopefully ya

Little homos get over your fears and phobias

It's okay to be scared straight, they said I provoke queers

'Til emotions evoke tears, my whole career's

A stroke of sheer genius, smoke and mirrors, tactical, practical jokes, yeah

You mothafuckin' (insert insult here)

Who the fuck would've thunk that one little ole MC'd

Be able to take the whole culture and re-upholstery it?

And boy, they did flock; can't believe this little hick locked

This hip-hop shit in his hip pocket and still the shit got

That white trash traffic in gridlock, shit hopping like six blocks

From a Kid Rock, Insane Clown Posse Concert in mid Oc-

-Tober, and God forbid I see a wizard and get a brain in my titanium cranium y'all, cause

I'd turn into the Unabomber, Momma always said

 

[Hook]

 

[Outro]

Insaneness ain't even a word, you stupid fuck

Neither is ain't

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11. STRONGER THAN I WAS

[Verse 1]

You used to say that I'd never be

Nothing without you and I'd believe

I'm shot in the lungs, I gasp, I can't breathe

Just lay here with me, baby, hold me please

And I'd beg and I'd plead, drop to knees

And I'd cry and I'd scream, "Baby, please don't leave"

Snatch the keys from your hand, I would squeeze

And you'd laugh, and you'd tease, you're just fucking with me

And you must hate me, why do you date me if you say I make you sick?

And you've had enough of me, I smother you, I'm 'bout to jump off the edge

 

[Hook]

But you won't break me, you'll just make me stronger than I was

Before I met you, I bet you I'll be just fine without you

And if I stumble, I won't crumble, I'll get back up and uhh

But I'mma still be humble when I scream "fuck you," cause I'm stronger than I was

 

[Verse 2]

A beautiful face is all that you have

Cause on the inside you're ugly and mad

But you're all that I love, I grasp, you can't leave

Please stay here with me, baby hold me please

And I'd beg and I plead, drop to knees

And I'd cry and I'd scream, baby, please don't leave

But you left and you took everything I had left

And left nothing, nothing for me

So please don't wake me from this dream, baby, we're still together in my head

And you're still in love with me 'til I woke up to discover that that dream was dead

 

[Hook]

 

[Verse 3]

You walked out, I almost died

It was almost a homicide that you caused cause I was so traumatized

Felt like I was in for a long bus ride, I’d rather die than you not be by my side

Can't count how many times I vomited, cried, go to my room, turn the radio on and hide

Thought we were Bonnie and Clyde, nah, on the inside you were Jekyll and Hyde, I, felt like my

Whole relationship with you was a lie, it was you and I, why did I think it was ride or die?

Cause if you coulda, took my life you woulda, it's like you put a

Knife through my chest and pushed it right through to the

Other side of my back and stuck a spike too, shoulda

Put up more of a fight, but I couldn't, at the time, no one could hurt me like you coulda

Take you back now, what's the likelihood of that? Bite me bitch, chew on a nineteen footer

But this morning I finally stood up, held my chin up, finally showed a sign of life in me for the

First time since you left me and left me with nothing but shattered dreams and the life we coulda

Had and we could've been, but I'm breaking out of this slump I'm in

Pulling myself out of the dumps once again, I'm getting up once and for all, fuck this shit

I'ma be late for the pity party, but you're never gonna beat me to the fucking punch again

Took it on the chin like a champ, so don't lump me in with the chump-ions

I'm done being your punching bag

 

[Bridge]

It was the November 31st today

Would've been our anniversary, two years but you left on the 1st of May

I wrote it on a calendar, was gonna call but couldn't think of the words to say

But they came to me just now, so I put 'em in a verse to lay

And I thank you cause you made me a better person than I was

But I hate you cause you drained me, I gave you all, you gave me none

But if you blame me, you're crazy and after all is said and done

I'm still angry, yeah, I may be, I may never trust someone

 

[Hook]

 

Insaneness ain't even a word, you stupid fuck

Neither is ain't

12. THE MONSTER FT. RIHANNA

[Hook: Rihanna]

I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed

Get along with the voices inside of my head

You're trying to save me, stop holdin' your breath

And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy

 

[Verse 1: Eminem]

I wanted the fame, but not the cover of Newsweek

Oh well, guess beggars can't be choosey

Wanted to receive attention for my music

Wanted to be left alone in public, excuse me

For wanting my cake, and eat it too, and wanting it both ways

Fame made me a balloon cause my ego inflated when I blew, see

But it was confusing, cause all I wanted to do's be

The Bruce Lee of loose leaf

Abused ink, used it as a tool when blew steam

Hit the lottery, ooh-wee

But with what I gave up to get it was bittersweet

It was like winning a used mink

Ironic cause I think I'm getting so huge I need a shrink

I'm beginning to lose sleep

One sheep, two sheep

Going coo-coo and kooky as Kool Keith

But I'm actually weirder than you think

Cause I'm...

 

[Hook]

 

[Bridge: Rihanna]

Well, that's nothing

 

[Verse 2: Eminem]

Now, I ain't much of a poet but I know somebody once told me to seize the moment and don't squander it

Cause you never know when it all could be over tomorrow, so I keep conjuring

Sometimes I wonder where these thoughts spawn from

(Yeah, pondering'll do you wonders

No wonder you're losing your mind, the way it wanders)

Yodel-odel-ay-hee-hoo!

I think it went wandering off down yonder

And stumbled onto Jeff VanVonderen

Cause I need an interventionist to intervene between me and this monster

And save me from myself and all this conflict

Cause the very thing that I love's killing me and I can't conquer it

My OCD is conking me in the head, keep knockin'

Nobody's home, I'm sleepwalkin'

I'm just relaying what the voice in my head is saying

Don't shoot the messenger, I'm just friends with the...

 

[Hook + Bridge]

 

[Verse 3: Eminem]

Call me crazy, but I have this vision

One day that I'll walk amongst you a regular civilian

But until then drums get killed and I'm

Coming straight at MCs, blood gets spilled and I'll

Take it back to the days that I'd get on a Dre track

Give every kid who got played that, pumped up feelin'

And shit to say back to the kids who played him

I ain't here to save the fucking children

But if one kid out of a hundred million

Who are going through a struggle feels it and

Relates, that's great, it's payback, Russell Wilson

Falling way back in the draft, turn nothing into something, still can

Make that, straw into gold chump, I will spin

Rumpelstiltskin in a haystack

Maybe I need a straight jacket, face facts

I am nuts for real, but I'm okay with that

It's nothing, I'm still friends with the...

 

[Hook + Bridge]

13. SO FAR... 

[Intro]

I own a mansion, but live in a house

A king-size bed, but I sleep on the couch

I'm Mr. Brightside, glass is half-full

But my tank's half empty, gasket just blew

 

[Verse 1]

This always happens

30 minutes from home, gotta lay a log cabin, only option I have's McDonalds's bathroom

In a public stall dropping a football, so every time someone walks in the john I get maddene

"Shady, what up?" What? Come on, man, I'm crappin'

And you're asking me for my goddamn autograph on a napkin?

Oh that's odd, I just happened

To run out of tissue, yeah, hand me that, on second thought I'd be glad then

"Thanks dawg, name's Todd, a big fan"

I wiped my ass with it, crumbled it up in a wad and threw it back and

Told him "Todd, you're the shit"; when's all of this crap end?

Can't pump my gas without causing an accident

Puff my gas, cut my grass, can't take out the fucking trash

Without someone passing through my sub harassing

I'd count my blessings, but I suck at math

I'd rather wallow than bask suffering succotash, but the ant-

Acid, it gives my stomach gas

When I mix my corn with my fucking mashed

Potatoes, so what, ho kiss my country bumpkin ass

Missouri Southern roots, what the fuck is upper class

Call lunch dinner, call dinner supper, Tupperware in the cupboard, plastic ware up the ass

Stuck in the past, iPod, what the fuck is that

B-Boy to the core, mule, I'm a stubborn ass

 

[Hook]

Maybe that's why I feel so strange

Got it all, but I still won't change

Maybe that's why I can't leave Detroit

It's the motivation that keeps me going

This is the inspiration I need

I can never turn my back on a city that made me and

(Life's been good to me so far)

 

[Verse 2]

They call me classless, I heard that, I second and third that, don't know what the fuck I would doing if it weren't rap

Probably be a giant turd sack

But I blew, never turned back

Turned 40 and still sag, teenagers act more fucking mature, Jack

Fuck you gonna say to me? I leave on my own terms ass-

Hole, I'm going berzerk, my nerves are bad

But I love the perks my work has

I get to meet famous people, look at her dag

Her nylons are ran, her skirt's snagged, and I heard she drag-races, *burp* swag

Tuck in my Hanes shirt tag

You're Danica Patrick (yeah) word, skag

We'd be the perfect match, cause you're a vacuum, I'm a dirtbag

My apologies, no disrespect to technology, but what the heck is all of these buttons, you expect me to sit here and learn that?

Fuck I gotta do to hear this new song from Luda, be an expert at

Computers? I'd rather be an Encyclopedia Britannica, Hell with

Playstation, I'm still on my first man on some Zelda

Nintendo, bitch! Run, jump, punch, stab and I melt the

Mozzarella on my spaghetti, put in on bread, make a sandwich with Welch's

And belch

They say this spray butter is bad for my health but

I think this poor white trash from the trailer

Jed Clampett, Fred Sanford and welfare mentality helps ta

Keep me grounded, that's why I never take full advantage of wealth, I

Managed to dwell within these parameters, still crammin' the shelves full of Hamburger Helper

I can't even help it, this is the hand I was dealt a

Creature of habit, feel like I'm trapped in an animal shelter

With all these pet peeves, goddammit to hell, I

Can't stand all these kids with their camera cellphones

I can't go anywhere, I get so mad I could yell the

Other day someone got all elaborate and stuck a head from a fucking dead cat in my mailbox

Went to Burger King, they spit on my onion rings

I think my karma is catching up with me

 

[Hook]

 

[Bridge]

Got friends on Facebook, all over the world

Not sure what that means, they tell me it's good

So I'm artist of the decade, I even got a plaque

I'd hang it up, but the frame is all cracked

 

[Verse 3]

I'm trying to be low-key, hopefully nobody notices me

In produce, hunched over, giant nosebleed

Ogre style as I mosey over to the frozen aisle by the frozen yogurt this guy approached me

Embarrassed, I just did Comerica with Hova, show's over, I'm hiding in Kroger buying groceries

He just had front row seats, told me to sign this poster, then insults me

"Wow, up close didn't know you had crow's feet"

I'm at a crossroad, lost, still shopping at Costco's

Sloppy Joe's, bulk waffles

Got caught picking my nose (agh!), look over see these two hot hoes

Finger still up one of my nostrils

Right next to 'em stuck at the light, the fucking shit's

Taking forever to change, it's stuck, these bitches are loving it

Rubbing it in, chuckling

Couldn't do nothing, play it off

"What you bumping? "Trunk Muzik, Yelawolf's better," fucking bitch

They want me to flip at the label, but I won't succumb to it

The pressure, they want me to follow up with a-

Nother one after Recovery was so highly coveted

But what good is a fucking recovery if I fumble it?

Cause I'mma drop the ball if I don't get a grip hopping out shrubbery on you sons of bitches

Wrong subdivision

To fuck with, bitch, quit snappin' fucking pictures of my kids, I love my city

But you pushed me to the limit, what a pity

The shit I complain about

It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out

Kool Aid stain on the couch, I'd never get it out

Bitch, I got an elevator in my house, ants and a mouse

I'm living the dream

 

[Hook]

14. LOVE GAME FT. KENDRICK LAMAR

[Verse 1: Eminem]

Something's burning, I can't figure out what (out what)

It's either lust or a cloud of dust

Judgement is clouded, must just be the powder from the power of (love)

But I'm in something I don't know how to get out of

Left my girl in the house alone, is that my soon to be spouse’s moan, and the further I walk, the louder

Pause for a minute to make certain that's what I heard, cause after all, this is her place

So I give her the benefit of the doubt I

Think I might be about to busta, bust her, the thought's scary, yo, though and it hurts - brace

Hope it ain't, "Here we go, yo," cause my head already goes to worst case scenario, though in the first place

But you confirmed my low end theory though should've known when I made it all the way to third base

And that was only the first date, could've made it to home plate

But you slid straight for the dome and dove face

First, "No (slurp) you don't (slurp) under (slurp) stand (slurp) I (slurp) don't (slurp) do (slurp) this for anyone, ever," yeah that ain't what they all say

I'll say, you can suck a softball through a straw, used to be my fiance

'Til you sucked on Wayne, Andre, and Kanye

LeBron, Akon, Jay, Lil Jon, Raekwon, Ma$e, Polow Tha Don, Dre

Dante Ross, James Conway, Kwame

Guess I'm gettin' my g-god dang Jigga on, eh?

Cause your name, I'm beyond sayin'

But fuck it, I'm movin' on, you women are all cray

But I'll probably always keep on playing

 

[Bridge: Sample]

The game of love, love, love, love

La-la-la-la-la love

 

[Hook: Kendrick Lamar]

She doesn't love me, no she don't love me no more

She hates my company, yeah she don't love me no more

I tried to get her up out of my head, left my bags at the door

She screamed she loved me like she never did before

And I told her

(Go where you wanna go, go do whatcha want to do; I don't care) x2

 

[Verse 2: Kendrick Lamar]

I told that bitch

I'm a sucker for love, you're a sucker for dick

Sucking dick in your momma tub, then your granny walked in

Told the stupid nigga to duck under the water

He drowned, like an abortion, they booked you for manslaughter

You beat the case and I called ya

"Sherane is not available now leave a message at the tone

And Kendrick don't forget to buy two pair of those

Expensive heels, you little fucking Ferris Wheel

Fucking spinning on me, fuck you think we gon' get married still?

Fucking Mary had a little lamb, this ain't no fairy tale

Fairy godmomma better tell you how I fucking feel

Like you should fuckin' beat it or fucking eat it while I'm on my period

Now have a blessed day," bitch, you serious?

I'm in the mirror with this look on my face, curious

Why you ain't fucking with me, you cut me deep as a Caesarean

You know I want you bad as a Benjamin, I'm delirious

I want you bad as the head shattered on George Zimmerman

After the Dillinger hit him diligently and killing him

His mouthpiece for a Cadillac emblem

That's analogy and metaphor for you

I should win a medal for all the ways I adore you

This is me talking cordial, yeah I got some home trainin'

That ain't what you like, ain't it, what about if I was as famous

As Marshall? Would you give fellatio in the carpool?

Cops pull us over, they just wanna know if you gargle

Singin' "I hope she's good enough"

Meanwhile you're chasing her

Chlamydia couldn't even get rid of her

Pity the fool and pity the fool in me, I'ma live with the

 

[Bridge: Sample]

 

[Hook: Kendrick Lamar & Eminem]

 

[Verse 3: Eminem]

So needless to say I'm feelin' betrayed, snatch my house key off her key chain

She jumps off Wee-Bey from The Wire's dick, now she's chasing me with a cheese grater

Here goes that broken record, cliché, it's all my fault anyway, she's turning the tables, I'm a beat-break

She treats my face like Serato, she cuts and scratches like a DJ, each day is an Instant Replay

They say what we display, is symptomatic of attack behave-

Ior, back together but forgot today was her b-day, she cut me off on the freeway

Simple misunderstanding but just as I went to slam on the brakes, that's when I realized that she may be as crazy as me, wait

Bitch cut my fucking brakeline, stepped on them fuckers 8 times, still goin' 73, thank

God there's an exit coming up, what the mother F-U-C-K's

Wrong with her, hit the off ramp 'til I coasted to a goddamn halt, hit a fucking tree now

Here she comes at full speed, she's racing at me, okay you wanna fuck with me, eh

Snatch the bitch out her car through the window, she screaming, I body slam her on the cement, until the concrete gave

And created a sinkhole, buried this stink ho in it, then pay to have the street repaved

(The fuck?) Woke up in a dream state

In a cold sweat like I got hit with a freeze ray during a heat wave

Guess I eventually caved though, cause she's laying next to me in bed

Directly aiming a gat at my head

Woke up again and jumped up like fuck it, I've had it, I'm checking into rehab

I confess I'm a static addict, I guess

That's why I'm so clingy, every girl I've ever had either says

I got too much baggage or I'm too fucking dramatic, man what the fuck is the matter, I'm just

A fucking romantic, I fucking love you, you fucking bitch! Combative, possessive, in fact last time I was mad at an ex

I actually set off a chain reaction of tragic events

I said, "Hit the road" and after she left, I sent that bitch a text

I said, "Be careful driving, don't read this and have an accident!" She glanced to look at it and wrecked

Too bad, thought we had a connect, no sense dwelling makes

Never been a more compelling case than the model covered in L'Oreal and mace

Who fell from grace eleven stories for storytelling while the whore was yelling, "Rape"

'Til her vocal cords were swelling and her voice were more hoarser than Tori Spellings' face

Still they swarm the gates

And my fancy estates to greet Norman Bates with a warm embrace

Unless you're Andrea Yates, don't ask me for a date, don't be late, well the sentiment's great

But wait, think there's been a mistake

You wanted an intimate date, I wanna intimidate

I have infinite hate in my blood

It's mainly because of the game of, (*Message sound*) "Wait, dinner at eight?"

I have infinite hate in my blood

It's mainly because of the game of...

 

[Outro]

Love, love, love, love

L-l, l-l-l-love

15. HEADLIGHTS FT. NATE RUESS

[Intro: Nate Ruess]

Mom, I know I let you down

And though you say the days are happy

Why is the power off and I'm fucked up

And Mom, I know he's not around

But don't you place the blame on me

As you pour yourself another drink, yeah

 

[Hook: Nate Ruess]

I guess we are who we are

Headlights shining in the dark night I drive on

Maybe we took this too far

 

[Verse 1]

I went in headfirst, never thinking about who what I said hurt, in what verse

My Mom probably got it the worst

The brunt of it, but as stubborn as we are, did I take it too far

Cleaning Out My Closet and all them other songs, but regardless I don't hate you, cause Ma

You're still beautiful to me, cause you're my Mom

Though far be it for you to be too calm, our house was Vietnam

Desert Storm and both of us put together could form an atomic bomb

Equivalent to Chemical Warfare, and forever we could drag this on and on

But, agree to disagree, that gift for me up under the Christmas tree

Don't mean shit to me, you're kicking me out? It's 15 degrees

And it's Christmas Eve ("Little prick, just leave"), Ma let me grab my fucking coat

Anything to have each other's goats, why we always at each others throats

Especially when dad, he fucked us both, we're in the same fucking boat

You'd think that'd make us close (nope) further away it drove

Us, but together, headlights shine, and a car full of belongings, still got a ways to go

Back to grandma's house, it's straight up the road

And I was the man of the house, the oldest, so my shoulders carried the weight of the load

Then Nate got taken away by the state at 8-years-old

And that's when I realized you were sick and it wasn't fixable or changeable

And to this day we remain estranged and I hate it though

But...

 

[Hook]

 

[Verse 2]

Cause to this day we remain estranged and I hate it though

Cause you ain't even get to witness your grandbabies grow

But I'm sorry Mama for Cleaning Out My Closet, at the time I was angry, rightfully, maybe so

Never meant that far to take it though, cause now I know it's not your fault, and I'm not making jokes

That song I'll no longer play at shows and I cringe every time it's on the radio

And I think of Nathan being placed in a home

And all the medicine you fed us and how I just wanted you to taste your own

But now the medication's taking over and your mental state's deteriorating slow

And I'm way too old to cry, the shit is painful though

But Ma, I forgive you, so does Nathan, yo

All you did, all you said, you did your best to raise us both

Foster care, that cross you bear, few may be as heavy as yours

But I love you Debbie Mathers, oh, what a tangled web we have cause

One thing I never asked was where the fuck my deadbeat dad was

Fuck it I guess he had trouble keeping up with every address

But I'd have flipped every mattress, every rock and desert cactus

Own a collection of maps and followed my kids to the edge of the atlas

If someone ever moved them from me, that you could've bet your asses

If I had to come down the chimney dressed as Santa

Kidnap 'em, and although one has only met their grandma

Once you pulled up in our drive one night, as we were leaving to get some hamburgers

Me, her and Nate, we introduced you, hugged you, and as you left I had this overwhelming sadness

Come over me as we pulled off to go our separate paths, and

I saw your headlights as I looked back, and I'm mad I didn't get the chance to

Thank you for being my mom and my dad, so

Mom, please accept this as a tribute I wrote this on the jet, I guess I had to

Get this off my chest, I hope I get the chance to lay it before I'm dead, the stewardess said to fasten

My seatbelt, I guess we're crashin'

So if I'm not dreaming, I hope you get this message

That I'll always love you from afar

Cause you're my Ma

 

[Hook]

 

[Bridge: Nate Ruess]

I want a new life, (start over) one without a cause (clean slate)

So I'm coming home tonight, well, no matter what the cost

And if the plane goes down, or if the crew can't wake me up

Well, just know that I'm alright

I was not afraid to die

Oh even if there's songs to sing, my children will carry me

Just know that I'm alright

I was not afraid to die

Because I put my faith in my little girls

So I never say goodbye cruel world

Just know that I'm alright

I am not afraid to die

 

[Hook]

16. EVIL TWIN

[Intro]

Yeah, trying to figure out the difference

But I think the lines are starting to get blurred

 

[Verse 1]

I'm in a strange place

I feel like Ma$e when he gave up the game for his faith

I feel like I'm caged in these chains and restraints

Grimming every stranger in the place while I gaze into space

Cause I'm mentally rearranging his face

I need a change of pace cause the pace I'm working at is dangerous

There's nowhere to dump this anger and thanks to this angst

I done quit chicken heads cold turkey and started slowly roasting 'em

Cause that's where most of my anger is based

Fuck your feelings, I feel like I play for the Saints

I just want to hurt you - aim for the skanks

Then aim for all these fake Kanye's, Jay's, Wayne's and the Drake's

I'm frustrated cause ain't no more N'Sync, now I'm all out of whack

I'm all out of Backstreet Boys to call out and attack

I'm going all out in this rap shit and whatever the fallout is I'm strapped

For battles sucka - duck, crawl out the back

It's a bar fight, prepare your arsenal and beware of bar stools

Flying through the air and bottles breaking, mirrors also

And I ain't stopping 'til the swear jar's full

"You done called every woman a slut

But you're forgetting Sarah, Marshall (Palin)"

Oh, my bad. Slut

And next time I show to in court I'll be naked and just wear a lawsuit

Judge be like "That's sharp, how much did that motherfucker cost you?

Smart-ass, you're lucky I don't tear it off you

And jump your bones, you sexy motherfucker

You're so fucking gravy, Marshall I should start calling you 'au jus'

Cause all you do is spit them lyrics out the wazoo"

Evil twin, take this beat now, it's all you

I believe people can change, but only for the worse

I could've changed the world if it wasn't for this verse

So satanic, K-Mart chains panic

Cause they can't even spin back the curse words

Cause they're worse when they're reversed motherfucker

(Rape your mother, kill your parents) [shit, motherfucker]

And these kids are like parrots, they run around the house just like terrorists

Screaming, "fuck, shit, fuck" adult with a childish-like arrogance

Wild ever since the day I came out I was like, merits

Fuck that - I'd rather be loud and I like swearing

From the first album even the gals were like "tight lyrics

Dreamy eyes", but my fucking mouth was nightmare-ish

And from the start of it you felt like you were part of this and

Opposition felt the opposite, sometimes I listen

And revisit them old albums often as I can and skim through all them bitches

To make sure I keep up with my competition (ha ha)

Hogger of beats, hoarder of rhymes

Borderline genius who's bored of his lines

And that sort of defines where I'm at and the way I feel now

Feel like I might just strike first and ignore the replies

 

[Hook]

There's darkness closing in (evil twin)

There it goes again (my evil twin)

It controls my pen, but that ain't me, it's my evil twin

(Then I step out and see my evil twin, he gives me an evil grin)

But he's just a friend

Who pops up now and again

So don't blame me (evil twin)

Just blame him, it's my evil twin)

(I step out and see my evil twin, he gives me an evil grin)

 

[Interlude]

Welcome back to the land of the living, my friend

You have slept for quite some time

 

[Verse 2]

So who's left, Lady Gaga? Mess with the Bieber

Nah, F with Christina, I ain't fucking with either Jessica neither

Simpson or Alba, my albums just sicker than strep with the fever

Get the Cloriseptic, Excedrin, Aleve or

Extra Strength Tylenol 3's, feel like I'm burning to death but I'm freezing

Bed ridden and destined never to leave the

Bedroom ever again like the legend of Heath-uh-

Ledger, my suicide notes, barely legible read the

Bottom, it's signed by the Joker, Lorena said I never can leave her

She'd sever my wiener I ever deceive her

Fuck that shit bitch, Give up my dick for pussy?

I'd be Jerry Mathers, I ever left it to Beaver

Get them titties cut off trying to mess with a cleaver

Golly-wally, I vent, heat register, Jesus

Ever since 1-9-9-4-6 Dresden, it was definitely my

Destiny when on the steps, I met DeShaun

At Osborn, I'd never make it to sophomore

I just wanted to skip school and rap, used to mop floors

Flip burgers and wash dishes, but I wrote rhymes trying to get props for 'em

Cause I took book-smarts and swapped for 'em

They were sleeping, I made 'em stop snorin'

Made them break out the popcorn

Now I've been hip-hop in it's tip-top form

Since N.W.A was blaring through my car windows leaning on the horn

Screaming "Fuck the police" like cop porn

Flipped rap on its ear like I dropped corn

Fuck top five, bitch, I'm top four

And that includes Biggie and Pac, whore

And I got an Evil Twin

So who the fuck do you think that third and that fourth spot's for?

And crazy as I am I'm much tamer than him

And I'm nuts, then again who the fuck wants a plain Eminem?

But no one's insaner than Slim, look at that (evil grin)

(Evil twin) please come in, what was your name again?

Hi! Faggot

Look who's back with a crab up his ass

Like a lobster crawled up there

Two rabbits, a koala bear and a ball of hair

And you're all aware I don't got it all upstairs

Guess that's why I'm an addict and it's so small up there

Peace to Whitney, jeez just hit me

That I should call the Looney Police to come get me

Cause I'm so sick of being the truth, I wish someone finally admit me

To a mental hospital with Britney

Oh LMFAO, no way, Jo-

Se Baez couldn't beat this rap, OJ no

Hooray, I'm off the hook like Casey Anthony, (hey ho) Hey-ho!

I sound like I'm trying to sing the fucking chorus to "Hip Hop Hooray", no

I’m hollering you got bottom-end like an 8-0-

8 and I 'base' whether we're fucking off that instead of your face, so

Let your low end raise, yo

Tango, what you think, ho? Slow dancing or bowling?

You trying to hold hands with your homie?

What, you think I'm looking for romance cause I'm lonely?

Change that tune, you ain't got a remote chance to control me

Ho, I'm only vulnerable when I got a bo-ner

Superman try to fuck me over, it won't hurt

Don't try to fix me, I'm broke so I don't work

So are you, but you're broke cause you don't work

But all bullshit aside, I hit a stride

Still Shady inside, hair every bit is dyed

As it used to be when I first introduced y'all to my skittish side

And blamed it on him when they tried to criticize

Cause we are the same, bitch

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